Flora: Good gracious! Who left the mop running?
Merryweather: Stop, mop!
Prince Phillip: Now, father, you`re living in the past. This is the 14th century!
Maleficent: Now shall you deal with ME, o Prince - and all the powers of HELL!
(Maleficent discovers the Prince has cut his way through the forest of thorns surrounding King Stefan`s castle)
Maleficent: No! It cannot be!
(transforms herself into a whirlwind & lands in front of Phillip, blocking his path)
Maleficent: Now, shall you deal with ME, O Prince - and all the powers of HELL! AHAHAHAHAHA, AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
(Maleficent raises her sceptre and turns herself into a massive dragon that looms up in front of Prince Phillip)
(Maleficent is trying to stop Prince Phillip from reaching King Stefan`s castle)
Maleficent: Forest of Thorns shall be his tomb! Borne through the skies on a fog of doom! Now go with the curse, and serve me well! `Round Stefan`s Castle, CAST MY SPELL!
(Dark, towering clouds appear over the castle followed by lightning strikes. Huge thorns as thick as weeds burst out of the ground around the castle, cutting off Prince Phillip)
Maleficent: Did you hear that my pet? All these years they`ve been looking for a baby.
Maleficent: It`s *incredible*! *Sixteen years* and not a *trace* of her! She couldn`t have vanished into thin air.
(to her goons)
Maleficent: Are you sure you searched everywhere?
Maleficent`s goon: Yep, yep, everywhere. We *all* did.
(the rest of the goons chatter agreement)
Maleficent: And what about the town? The forests? The *mountains*?
Maleficent`s goon: Yeah, we searched mountains and forests and, uh, houses and... uh, lemme see here... and all the cradles.
Maleficent`s goon: Yep, yep, every cradle.
(to her pet raven)
Maleficent: Did you hear that, my pet? All these years, they`ve been looking for a baby.
(she bursts out laughing, as do her goons)
Merryweather: I`d like to turn her into a fat ol` hop toad.
Fauna: Now, dear, that isn`t a very nice thing to say.
Flora: Besides, we can`t. You know our magic doesn`t work that way.
Fauna: It can only do good, dear, to bring joy and happiness.
Merryweather: Well, *that* would make me happy.
Merryweather: It looks awful.
Flora: That`s because it`s on you, dear.
Flora: Thou sword of truth, fly swift and sure, that evil die and good endure!
Maleficent: Well, quite a glittering assemblage King Stefan. Royalty, nobility, the gentry, and...
(sees the three good fairies, laughs)
Maleficent: ...oh, how quaint - even the rabble.
Maleficent: Listen well, all of you. The Princess shall indeed grow in grace and beauty, beloved by all who know her. But, before the sun sets on her 16th birthday, she shall prick her finger, on the spindle of a spinning wheel - AND DIE!
Maleficent: (seeing captured Prince Philip) Well - this is a pleasant surprise. I set my trap for a peasant and LO! - I catch a prince! Away with him - but gently my pets, gently. I have plans for our royal guest.
Maleficent: Oh come now Prince Phillip. Why so melancholy? A wondrous future lies before you - you, the destined hero of a charming fairy tale come true. Behold - King Stefan`s castle. And in yonder topmost tower, dreaming of her true love, the Princess Aurora. But see the gracious whim of fate - why, `tis the self-same peasant maid, who won the heart of our noble prince but yesterday. She is indeed, most wondrous fair. Gold of sunshine in her hair, lips that shame the red red rose. In ageless sleep, she finds repose. The years roll by, but a hundred years to a steadfast heart, are but a day. And now, the gates of a dungeon part, and our prince is free to go his way. Off he rides, on his noble steed, a valiant figure, straight and tall! To wake his love with "loves` first kiss"! And prove that "true love" conquers all! AHAHAHAHAHA!
Fauna: Maleficent doesn`t know anything about love, or kindness, or the joy of helping others. You know, sometimes I don`t think she`s really very happy.
King Hubert: Nowadays I`m still the king! And I command you to come to your senses!
Prince Phillip: (mounting his horse) And marry the girl I love.
King Hubert: Exactly!
Prince Phillip: (riding off) Goodbye, father!
King Hubert: Goodbye, father. Marry the girl you... No, no! No, no, Phillip! Stop! Come back!
King Hubert: Stephan, there`s - there`s something important I have to tell you.
King Stefan: Not now, Hubert.
King Hubert: But it`s about Phillip.
King Stefan: Phillip? Oh, yes, of course, Phillip. Why, where is the boy?
King Hubert: That`s what I`m trying to tell you.
King Stefan: Well, send for him immediately!
King Hubert: But...
King Stefan: Shhh!
Herald: The sun has set! Make ready to welcome your princess!
(preparing for Aurora`s birthday party)
Merryweather: I never baked a fancy cake.
Flora: Oh, you won`t have to, dear.
Fauna: I`m going to bake the cake!
Flora: Oh, she`s always wanted to, dear, and this is her last chance.
Merryweather: (doubtfully) Well...
Fauna: I`m going to make it 15 layers with pink and blue forget-me-nots.
Fauna: And *I`m* making the dress.
Merryweather: But you can`t sew, and she`s never cooked.
Flora: Oh, it`s simple.
Fauna: All you do is follow the book!
Flora: (putting Merryweather on a stool) Up here, dear. You can be the dummy.
Merryweather: Well, I still say we oughta use magic.
Maleficent: A forest of thorns shall be his tomb, borne through the skies on a fog of doom! Now go with a curse and serve me well! `Round Stefan`s castle, cast my spell!
Merryweather: (referring to the dress) It`s pink!
Flora: Oh, lovely shade, isn`t it?
Merryweather: But I wanted it blue.
Flora: Now, dear. We decided pink was her color!
Merryweather: YOU decided!
Fauna: Now, yeast, one tsp. Tsp?
Merryweather: One tea spoon.
Fauna: One tea spoon, of course!
Maleficent: You poor simple fools. Thinking you could defeat me, *me*! The Mistress of All Evil! Well, here`s your precious princess!
Merryweather: Sweet princess... if through this wicked witch`s trick, a spindle should your finger prick... a ray of hope there still may be in this, the gift I give to thee. Not in death, but just in sleep, this fateful prophecy you`ll keep. And from this slumber you shall wake, when true love`s kiss, the spell shall break.
Chorus: (singing) For true love conquers all!
Maleficent: Fools! Idiots! Imbeciles!
(drives her search patrol away)
Maleficent: (alone with her pet again) Oh, they`re hopeless. A disgrace to the forces of evil.
(talking to the raven)
Maleficent: My pet... you are my last hope. Circle far and wide... search for a maid of sixteen with hair of sunshine gold and lips red as the rose. Go, and do not fail me.
(pet flies away)
Prince Phillip: But when will I see you again?
Princess Aurora: Oh never, never!
Prince Phillip: Never?
Princess Aurora: Well, maybe someday.
Prince Phillip: When, tomorrow?
Princess Aurora: Oh no, this evening!
Prince Phillip: Where?
Princess Aurora: (calling back while running away) At the cottage... in the glen.
Fauna: She`s in love!
Merryweather: Oh, no!
Flora: This is terrible!
Princess Aurora: Why? After all, I am sixteen.
Flora: (Fauna cries at Aurora`s and Phillip`s wedding) Why Fauna, what`s the matter, dear?
Fauna: Oh... I just love happy endings.
Flora: Yes. I do t...
(Sees Aurora`s dress, gasps)
Flora: Oh... *blue*!
Fauna, Flora, Merryweather: (Chasing Aurora up the stairs to the spinning wheel) Rose! Rose! Don`t touch ANYTHING!
Narrator: In a faraway land, long ago, there lived a King and his fair Queen. Many years they had longed for a child, and finally their wish was granted. A daughter was born, and they called her Aurora. Yes, they named her after the dawn, for she filled their lives with sunshine. Then a great holiday was proclaimed throughout the land, so that all of high or low estate could pay homage to the infant Princess. And our story begins on that most joyful day...
King Hubert: (fighting with Stefan) I`m not so sure my grandchildren want you for a grandfather!
King Hubert: The plans!
(Servant presents King Stephan with blueprints)
King Hubert: Well, what do you think? Nothing elaborate, of course. Forty bedrooms, dining hall... honeymoon cottage, really.
King Stefan: You - you mean you`re building it already?
King Hubert: Built, man! Finished! Lovebirds can move in tomorrow.
King Stefan: Tomorrow? But Hubert, they`re not even married yet.
King Hubert: Take care of that tonight. To the wedding!
King Stefan: Now, hold on, Hubert. I haven`t even seem my daughter yet, and now you`re taking her away from me.
King Hubert: You`re getting my Phillip, aren`t you?
King Stefan: Yes, but...
King Hubert: Want to see our grandchildren, don`t we?
King Stefan: Of course, but...
King Hubert: There`s no time to lose. Getting on in years.
Princess Aurora: Well, I`m really not supposed to speak to strangers, but we`ve met before.
(the fairies rush to the cottage to find Phillip`s hat on the floor)
Flora, Merryweather, Fauna: Maleficent!
Merryweather: She`s got Prince Phillip!
Flora: At the Forbidden Mountain.
Fauna: But we can`t, we can`t go there!
Flora: We can, and we must!
Flora: Wait, Prince Phillip. The road to love may be barred by still many more dangers, which you alone will have to face. So arm yourself with this enchanted Shield of Virtue, and this mighty Sword of Truth, for these weapons of righteousness will triumph over evil. Now come, we must hurry.
(after Aurora falls into her sleep)
Fauna: Poor King Stephan, and the Queen.
Merryweather: They`ll be heartbroken when they find out.
Flora: They`re not going to.
Merryweather: They aren`t? But...
Flora: We`ll put them all to sleep, until Rose awakens.
Prince Phillip: I`m awfully sorry. I didn`t mean to frighten you.
Princess Aurora: Oh, it wasn`t that. Is just that you`re a... a...
Prince Phillip: A stranger?
Princess Aurora: Mm-hmm.
Prince Phillip: But don`t you remember? We`ve met before.
Princess Aurora: We... we have?
Prince Phillip: Well, of course. You said so yourself. Once upon a dream.
Princess Aurora: Oh, dear. Why do they still treat me like a child?
Princess Aurora: Aunt Flora and Fauna and Merryweather. They never want me to meet anyone.
Princess Aurora: But you know something? I fooled them. I have met someone.
Owl: Who? Who?
Princess Aurora: Oh, a prince.
Princess Aurora: Well, he`s tall and handsome, and... and so romantic.
Princess Aurora: Oh, we walk together, and talk together, and just before we say goodbye, he takes me in his arms, and then... I wake up. Yes, it`s only in my dreams. But they say if you dream a thing more than once, it`s sure to come true, and I`ve seen him so many times.
Prince Phillip: (Hearing Aurora`s singing) You hear that, Samson? Beautiful.
Prince Phillip: What is it? Come on, let`s find out.
Prince Phillip: Aw, come on. For an extra bucket of oats? And a few... carrots?
(Samson nods yes)
Prince Phillip: Hup, boy!
(They ride through the forest; Samson jumps over a river but Phillip falls off and into the water)
Prince Phillip: Whoa!
(Samson goes back for him and Phillip splashes water on his face)
Prince Phillip: No carrots.
Flora: I`ll turn her into a flower.
Flora: No, no, dear. The princess.
Fauna: Oh, she`d make a lovely flower.
Flora: Don`t you see? A flower can`t prick her finger.
Merryweather: It hasn`t any.
Fauna: That`s right.
Flora: She`ll be perfectly safe.
Merryweather: Until Maleficent sends a frost.
Flora: Yes... oh dear.
Fauna: She always ruins your nicest flowers.
(Fauna finishes lighting the candles on Aurora`s birthday cake and it begins to fall over)
Fauna: Well, what do you think of it?
Flora: Why, it... it`s a very unusual cake, isn`t it?
Fauna: Yes... of course it will be much stiffer after it`s baked.
Flora: Of course, dear. Well, what do you think of the dress?
(Aurora`s dress which Merryweather is wearing is revealed to be in worse shape than the cake)
Fauna: Well, uh, it`s... it isn`t exactly the way it is in the book, is it...
Flora: Oh, I improved it. But perhaps if I added a few more ruffles... eh, what do you think?
Fauna: Um, I think so. What do you think Merryweather?
Merryweather: I think we`ve had enough of this nonsense! I think we ought to think of Rose, and what *she`ll* think of this mess!
(stalks off and the dress falls apart)
Merryweather: And I still think what I thunk before. I`m going to get those wands.
Fauna: You know, I think she`s right.
King Hubert: To the wedding!
King Stefan: Now, be reasonable, Hubert. After all, Aurora knows nothing about all this.
King Hubert: Well?
King Stefan: Well, it may come as quite a shock.
King Hubert: (Spits out his wine) Shock? My Phillip a shock? What`s wrong with my Phillip?
King Stefan: Nothing, Hubert. I only meant...
King Hubert: Why doesn`t your daughter like my son?
King Stefan: Now, now...
King Hubert: I`m not so sure my son likes your daughter!
King Stefan: Now, see here...
King Hubert: I`m not so sure my grandchildren want you for a grandfather!
King Stefan: Why you, you, unreasonable, pompous, blustering old windbag!
King Hubert: Unreasonable, pompous... En garde, sir!
(Reaches for his sword, but grabs a fish by mistake)
King Stefan: I warn you, Hubert. This means war!
King Hubert: (Fighting) Forward! For honor! For country! For...
(Realizes he`s fighting with a fish; they both start laughing)
King Hubert: What`s this all about, anyway?
King Stefan: Nothing, Hubert. Absolutely nothing.
King Hubert: Those children are bound to fall in love with each other!
King Stefan: Precisely. And as for grandchildren, I`ll have the royal woodcarvers start work on the cradle tomorrow.
King Hubert: Splendid! King-sized, of course.
King Stefan: Certainly! To the Woodcarvers` Guild!
Princess Aurora: (on her return from picking berries) Aunt Flora? Fauna? Merrywether?
(closes the door, but finds the house silent)
Princess Aurora: Where is everybody?
(gasps as she sees her new dress dr*ped over a chair and rushes toward it eagerly)
Flora, Fauna, Merryweather: (appearing from their hiding place) Surprise! Surprise! Happy Birthday!
Princess Aurora: Oh you darlings! This is the happiest day of my life! Everything`s *so* wonderful!