(Boo, in disguise, walks up to Mr. Waternoose)
Henry J. Waternoose: Well hello, little one. Where did you come from?
Sulley: Mr. Waternoose.
Henry J. Waternoose: Ah, James. Is this one yours?
Sulley: Ah, actually that's my uh, cousin's sister's daughter, sir.
Mike: Yeah, it's uh, "Bring an Obscure Relative to Work Day".
Henry J. Waternoose: Hmm, must have missed the memo.
(Sully thinks Boo has been crushed into a cube of garbage)
Sulley: (tearfully) I can still hear her little voice.
Boo: (from down the hall) Mike Wazowski!
Mike: Hey, I can hear her too.
Kids: Mike Wazowski!
Mike: How many kids you got in there?
Flint: All right, Mr. Bile, is it?
Bile: Uh, my friends call me Phlem.
Flint: Uh-huh, Mr. Bile, can you tell me what you did wrong?
Bile: I fell down?
Randall: Shh. Shh. Shh. Shh. Do you hear that? It's the winds of change.
Henry J. Waternoose: There's nothing more toxic or deadly than a human child. A single touch could kill you. Leave a door open, and one can walk right into this factory; right into the monster world.
Trainee: I won't go into a kid's room. You can't make me.
Roz: None of this ever happened, gentlemen. And I don't want to see any paperwork on it.
Charlie: Twenty-three nineteen! We have a Twenty-three nineteen!
Needleman: Hey, Mr. Sullivan!
Sulley: Guys, I told you, call me Sulley.
Smitty: (Giggling) I don't think so.
Needleman: We just wanted to wish you good luck today.
Mike: Hey, hey, hey, hey. Come on, get lost, you two. You're making him lose his focus.
Needleman: Oh, sorry.
Sulley: See you later, fellas.
Smitty: Go get 'em, Mr. Sullivan!
Needleman: Quiet! You're making him lose his focus.
Smitty: Oh, no. Sorry!
Needleman: Shut up!
Celia: So, uh... are we going anywhere special tonight?
Mike: I-I just got us into a little place called, um... Harryhausen's.
Celia: Harryhausen's? But it's impossible to get a reservation there.
Mike: Not for Googlie Bear. I will see you at quitting time, and not a minute later.
Celia: Okay, sweetheart.
Mike: Think romantical thoughts.
Mike: You and me, me and you, both of us together!
Needleman: So I said, "If you talk to me like that again, we're through."
Smitty: Oh! What did she say?
Needleman: You know my mom. She sent me to my room.
(Mike and Sulley, with the help of Waternoose, are preparing to send Boo home, but a huge metal door is brought out instead of Boo's)
Mike: Sir, that's not her door.
Henry J. Waternoose: I know, I know...
(Suddenly, Randal materializes in front of the door and opens it)
Henry J. Waternoose: ...It's yours.
(Waternoose, holding Boo, pushes Mike and Sulley through the door)
Celia: Oh, Michael, I've had a lot of birthdays - well, not a lot of birthdays but this is the best birthday ever.
(Mike stares lovingly at her)
Celia: What are you looking at?
Mike: I was just thinking about the first time I laid eye on you, how pretty you looked.
Celia: (shyly) Stop it.
Mike: Your hair was shorter then.
Celia: Mm-hmm. I'm thinking about getting it cut.
(the snakes in Celia's hair squeal with fear)
Mike: No-no, I like it this length.
(the snakes sigh in relief)
Mike: I like everything about you. Just the other day someone asked me who I thought the most beautiful was in all of Monstropolis. You know what I said?
Celia: What did you say?
Mike: I said...
(Just then, Sulley's face appears in the window behind Celia)
Sulley: Mike, this isn't Boo's door.
Mike: Boo? What's Boo?
Sulley: That's... what I decided to call her. Is there a problem?
Mike: Sulley, you're not supposed to name it. Once you name it, you start getting attached to it. Now put that thing back where it came from or so help me...
(Mike pauses, realizing that they suddenly have the attention of the entire scare floor)
Mike: Oh, hey. We're rehearsing a - a scene for the upcoming company play called uh, Put That Thing Back Where It Came From Or So Help Me. It's a musical.
Mike: Put that thing back where it came from or so help me... so help me, so help me and cut. We're still working on it, it's a work in progress but, hey, we need ushers.
Henry J. Waternoose: I shouldn't have trusted you. Because of you, I had to banish my top scarer.
Randall: Ah, with this machine, we won't need scarers. Besides, Sullivan got what he deserved.
Henry J. Waternoose: Sullivan was twice the scarer you'll ever be!
Sulley: Are there kids in that village?
Yeti: Oh, sure. Tough kids, sissy kids, kids who climb on rocks...
Mike: Get out of here. You're ruining everything.
Sulley: I went back to get your paperwork and there was a door.
Mike: What? A door?
Sulley: Randall was in it.
Mike: Wait a minute, Randall? That cheater! He's trying to boost his numbers.
Sulley: There's something else.
Sulley: Ook-lay in the ag-bay.
Sulley: Look in the bag.
Mike: What bag?
Mike: (as the Scream Extractor approaches) What is that thing? What is that thing? Hey, hey, hey, that thing is moving. I don't like big, moving things that are moving towards me.
Mike: (while Sulley brushes teeth) C'mon, fight that plaque! Fight that plaque! Scary monsters don't have plaque!
(from teaser trailer)
Mike: Oh, that's great, blame it on the little guy. How original. He must've read the schedule wrong with his one eye.
Celia: (wearing a cone after being treated by the CDA) Last night was one of the worst nights of my entire life, bar none!
(the snakes on her hair, also wearing cones, pop out to hiss at Mike)
Celia: I thought you cared about me.
Mike: Honey, please. Schmoopsie, I thought you liked sushi.
Celia: Sushi? Sushi? You think this is about sushi?
Randall: I'm in the zone today, Sullivan. I'm gonna do some serious scaring, putting up some big numbers.
Sulley: (Sulley and Mike have just been banished to the Himalayas on Earth - Sulley opens the door to find nothing beyond it) BOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Sulley: (Opens and closes door, pushes frame, nothing happens) No, no! No, no, no, no, NO!
Mike: It's too late! We're banished, genius! We're in the human world! Oh, what a great idea; goin' to your old pal Waternoose! Too bad he was in on the whole thing! All you hadda do, was listen to me, just once! But you didn't, did you?
(Sulley continues to fret in the doorway)
Mike: YOU'RE STILL NOT LISTENING!
Boo: Mike Waszowski.
Charlie: (Trying to reassure George, who is in crutches after too many encounters with the CDA) Now, George, I know you can do this. I picked out an easy door for you, in Nepal. Nice, quiet Nepal.
George Sanderson: You know, you're right. Here, Take this.
(Give Charlie his crutches)
Charlie: Go get 'em, Georgie.
(as George walks to the door, Sulley bursts through, knocks George over)
Sulley: Gangway! Look out! Coming through! Sorry, George.
Charlie: Hey, you can't just...
(Sees a sock on George)
Charlie: Twenty-three nine...!
(George grabs Charlie, stuffs the sock in his mouth and tosses him into the door, then walks away humming happily)
Yeti: You wanna go to the village? Okay, rule number one out here: Always... no, Never go out in a blizzard.
Henry J. Waternoose: This has gone far enough, James.
Sulley: She's home now. Just leave her alone!
Henry J. Waternoose: I can't do that, James. She's seen too much. You both have.
Sulley: It doesn't have to be this way.
Henry J. Waternoose: I have no choice. Times have changed. Scaring isn't enough anymore.
Sulley: But kidnapping children?
Henry J. Waternoose: I'll kidnap a thousand children before I let this company die, and I'll silence anyone who gets in my way!
(Waternoose knocks Sulley to the ground and lunges at Boo. He instead finds the simulated child)
Voice: Simulation terminated. Simulation terminated...
Henry J. Waternoose: (confused) Huh? But... What?
(the lights come on and it's revealed that Boo's room is really the simulation room; Mike and several CDA agents are standing behind the console)
Mike: I don't know about you guys, but I spotted several big mistakes. You know what? Let's watch my favorite part again, shall we?
(replays the tape of Waternoose over and over)
Henry J. Waternoose: Kids these days. They just don't get scared like they used to.
Mike: Oh, Schmootsie-poo?
Celia: Googlie Bear.
Sulley: (Mike is complaining about walking to work instead of driving, he looks up at a monster with giant dinosaur feet and legs) Morning Frank!
Frank: (Chicken Call)
Sulley: See Mike? Frank walks to work.
Mike: Big deal, the guy takes five steps and he's there.
Sulley: Oh. So *that's* puce.
Mike: On my desk, Sulley. The pink copies go to Accounting, the fuchshia ones go to Purchasing, and the goldenrod ones go to Roz. Leave the puce.
Mike: Hey, genius. Wanna know why I bought the car?
Sulley: Not really.
Mike: To drive it! You know, like on the street? With the honk-honk and the vroom-vroom, and the no walking involved?
Sulley: Wah, wah, wah. Will you give it a rest, butterball? C'mon, you could use the exercise.
Mike: I could use the exercise? Look at you. You have your own climate.
(Celia is hanging on to Mike while Sulley is dragging him)
Celia: Michael, if you don't tell me what's going on right now, we are through! You hear me? Through!
Mike: Okay, here's the truth. You know that kid they're looking for? Sulley let her in. We tried to get her back, but Waternoose had a secret plot, and now Randall's right behind us, and he's tring to kill us.
Celia: You expect me to believe that pack of lies, Mike Wazowski?
Boo: (peeking from Sulley's shoulder) Mike Wazowski!
(Celia screams and lets go)
Sulley: What was that?
Mike Wazowski: I have no idea. But it would be a really good idea if it didn't do it again.
Yeti: Snow cone?
Yeti: No, no, no, don't worry. It's lemon.
Randall: Where is it, you little one-eyed cretin?
Mike: Okay, first of all, it's "creetin". If you're going to threaten me, do it properly. Second of all, you're nuts if you think kidnapping ME is going to help YOU cheat your way to the top.
Randall: (chuckles evilly) You still think this is about that stupid scare record?
Mike: Well... I did. Right up until you... chuckled... like that... And now I'm thinking I should just get out of here.
Mike: Psst, Fungus. Fungus, you like cars? Because I got a really nice car. You let me go, I'll give you... a ride... in the car.
Fungus: I'm sorry, Wazowski, but Randall said I'm not allowed to fraternize with victims of his evil plot.
Randall: I am about to revolutionize the scaring industry, and when I do, even the great James P. Sullivan is gonna be working of me.
Sulley: (Boo is hopping up and down like she has to use a toilet) Say, that's a cute little dance you got there. It almost looks like you have to... Oh!
Mike: Oh, you should have seen the look on Waternoose's face when that wall went up. Woo-hoo! I hope we get a copy of that tape. Hey, you all right? Come on, we did it. We got Boo home. Sure, we put the company in the toilet, and, gee, hundreds of people will be out of work now, not to mention the angry mob that'll come after us when there's no more power... but hey, at least we had a few laughs, right?
TV Anchorman: If witnesses are to be believed, there has been a child security breach for the first time in monster history.
CDA Agent: We can neither confirm nor deny the presence of a human child here tonight.
Witness #1: Well the kid flew right over me and blasted a car with its laser vision.
Witness #2: I tried to get away from it, but he picked me up with his mind powers and shook me like a doll.
Witness #3: (has many eyes) It's true! I saw the whole thing!
Professor on TV: It is my professional opinion that now it's the time to *panic*!
Mike: Sulley, what are we doing?
Sulley: We have to get Boo's door and find a station.
Mike: What a plan. Simple, yet insane.
Sulley: (is fighting the invisible Randall when he is hit with a snowball) Mike?
Mike: Look, it's not that I don't care about the kid.
Sulley: Mike, you don't understand.
Mike: Yes, I do. I was just mad, that's all. I needed some time to think, but you shouldn't have left me out there.
Sulley: I'm being attacked!
Mike: No, I'm not attacking you. I'm trying to be honest, just hear me out. You and I are a team. Nothing is more important than our friendship.
(Boo approaches Mike, frightened)
Mike: I-I know, kid. He's too sensitive.
Mike: (Sulley is being strangled) Come on, pal. If you start crying, I'm gonna cry, and I'll never get through this. I'm sorry I wasn't there for you, but I am now. Hey, Sulley, I am baring my soul here. The least you can do is pay attention!
(Throws snowball; it hits Randall, making him visible enough for Sullivan to knock him out)
Mike: Hey, look at that, it's Randall. It's... Oh.
Yeti: Welcome to the Himalayas.
Henry J. Waternoose: Well, Jerry, what's the damage so far?
Jerry the floor manager: We may actually make our quota today.
Henry J. Waternoose: Hmm, first time in a month.
(Mike and Sulley at a crosswalk next to a giant monster)
Sulley: Hey, Ted! Good morning!
(Ted clucks; light changes and they cross)
Sulley: See that, Mikey? Ted's walking to work.
Mike: Big deal. Guy takes five steps and he's there.
Mike: Good morning, Roz, my succulent little garden snail. And who will we be scaring today?
Roz: Wazowski! You didn't file your paperwork last night.
Mike: Oh, that darn paperwork! Wouldn't it be easier if it all just blew away?
Roz: Don't let it happen again.
Mike: Yes, well, I'll try to be more careful next time.
Roz: I'm watching you, Wazowski. Always watching. Always.
Mike: Ooh, she's nuts.
Flint: And leaving the door open is the worst mistake that any employee could make, because...
Bile: Uh... it could let in a draft?
Henry J. Waternoose: (Storming in) It could let in a child.
Mike: Can I borrow your odorant?
Sulley: Yeah, I got, uh, Smelly Garbage or Old Dumpster.
Mike: You got, uh, Low Tide?
Mike: How about Wet Dog?
Sulley: Yep. Stink it up.
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