Monsters, Inc. (2001) » Quotes

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Henry J. Waternoose: I hope you're happy, Sullivan. You destroyed this company. Monsters Incorporated is dead! Where will everyone get their scream now? The energy crisis will only get worse, because of you! (

Boo: (giggles and opens her closet door) Boo!... Kitty? (

(first lines)
Flint: All right, Mr. Bile, is it?
Bile: Uh, my friends call me Phlem.
Flint: Uh-huh, Mr. Bile, can you tell me what you did wrong?
Bile: I fell down? (

Mike: Oh, you should have seen the look on Waternoose's face when that wall went up. Woo-hoo! I hope we get a copy of that tape. Hey, you all right? Come on, we did it. We got Boo home. Sure, we put the company in the toilet, and, gee, hundreds of people will be out of work now, not to mention the angry mob that'll come after us when there's no more power... but hey, at least we had a few laughs, right? (

Henry J. Waternoose: What a day.
Sulley: It's just a rough patch, sir. Everyone knows you'll get us through it.
Henry J. Waternoose: Tell that to the board of directors. (

Henry J. Waternoose: I shouldn't have trusted you. Because of you, I had to banish my top scarer.
Randall: Ah, with this machine, we won't need scarers. Besides, Sullivan got what he deserved.
Henry J. Waternoose: Sullivan was twice the scarer you'll ever be! (

(from teaser trailer)
Mike: Oh, that's great, blame it on the little guy. How original. He must've read the schedule wrong with his one eye. (

Henry J. Waternoose: Well, Jerry, what's the damage so far?
Jerry the floor manager: We may actually make our quota today.
Henry J. Waternoose: Hmm, first time in a month. (

Randall: (materializes in Mike's locker) WAZOWSKI!
(Mike falls from the chair)
Randall: Well what do you know? It scares little kids and little monsters.
Mike: I wasn't scared, I have allergies (

Roz: None of this ever happened, gentlemen. And I don't want to see any paperwork on it. (

Henry J. Waternoose: Kids these days. They just don't get scared like they used to. (

(Sulley's alarm clock clicks, and Mike impersonates the radio announcer)
Mike: Hey, good morning, Monstropolis. It's now five after the hour of 6:00 A.M. in the big monster city. Temperature's a balmy 65 degrees, which is good news for you reptiles, and it looks like it's gonna be a perfect day to maybe, hey, just lie in bed, sleep in, or simply... Work out that flab that's hanging over the bed! Get up, Sulley!
(honks a horn right in Sulley's face; Sulley wakes up and screams, then starts working out)
Sulley: I don't believe I ordered a wake-up call, Mikey.
Mike: Hey, less talk, more pain, marshmellow boy! (

Sulley: We need to get to Boo.
Mike: (Throws a snowcone at him) Boo? What about us?
(Throws another snowcone)
Mike: Ever since that kid came in, you've ignored everything I've said, and now look where we are!
(Throws another snowcone)
Mike: Oh, we were about to break the record, Sulley. We would've had it made!
Sulley: None of that matters now.
Mike: None of it matters? Wa-wait a second. None of it matters? Oh, okay, that's - no. Good. Great. So now the truth comes out, doesn't it?
Yeti: Oh, would you look at that? We're out of snowcones. Let me... just go outside and make some more.
Mike: Sulley, what about everything we ever worked for? Does that matter? Huh? What about Celia? I am never... never gonna see her again. Doesn't that matter? What about me? I'm your pal, I'm-I'm your best friend. Don't I matter?
Sulley: I'm sorry, Mike. I'm sorry we're stuck out here. I didn't mean all this to happen. But Boo's in trouble. I think there might be a way to save her if we can just get down to that...
Mike: We? Whoa, whoa. We? No. There's no we this time, pal. If-if-if you want to go out there and freeze to death, you be my guest, because you're on your own. (

Mike: She's the one. I'm telling ya, she is the one.
Sulley: I'm happy for you.
Mike: Oh, by the way, thanks for hooking me up with those reservations.
Sulley: No problem. They're under the name Googlie-Bear.
Mike: Thanks, I... you know, that isn't very funny. (

Mike: (chanting) I don't know, but it's been said, I love scaring kids in bed! (

(Boo, scared of the closet, shows Sully a picture)
Sulley: Hey, that looks like Randall. Randall's your monster. You think he's gonna come out of the closet and scare you?
(Opens closet and walks inside)
Sulley: Look, it's empty. No monster in here. Okay, NOW there is. I'm not gonna scare you. I'm off duty. (

Sulley: Are there kids in that village?
Yeti: Oh, sure. Tough kids, sissy kids, kids who climb on rocks... (

Mike: Get out of here. You're ruining everything.
Sulley: I went back to get your paperwork and there was a door.
Mike: What? A door?
Sulley: Randall was in it.
Mike: Wait a minute, Randall? That cheater! He's trying to boost his numbers.
Sulley: There's something else.
Mike: What?
Sulley: Ook-lay in the ag-bay.
Mike: What?
Sulley: Look in the bag.
Mike: What bag? (

Sulley: How can I do this? How could I be so stupid? This could ruin the company.
Mike: The company? Who cares about the company? What about us? That thing is a KILLING MACHINE!
(points at Boo, who is babbling harmlessly)
Mike: I bet it's waiting for us to fall asleep, and then - bam! Oh, we're easy prey, my friend. Easy prey! We're sitting targets! (

Sulley: Mike, that's not her door.
Mike: What are you talking about? Of course it's her door. It's her door.
Sulley: No. Her door was white and it had flowers on it.
Mike: No. It must've dark last night because this is its door.
(opens the door. A bright light and polka music emanate from the room)
Mike: (to Boo) You hear that? Sounds like fun in there. Well, see ya kid. Send me a postcard. That's Mike Wazowski, care of 22 Mike Wazowsi-You-Got-Your-Life-Back-Lane.
Boo: Mowki Kowski.
Mike: Very good. Now bon voyage. See ya.
(waves a stick in front of Boo as if she were a dog)
Mike: Look at the stick. See the stick?
(throws the stick through the door)
Mike: Go get the stick. Go fetch. (

Randall: Wazowski! Where is the kid, you little one-eyed cretin?
Mike: Okay, first of all, it's "creetin". If you're gonna threaten me, do it properly. Second of all, you're nuts if you think kidnapping ME is gonna help YOU cheat your way to the top.
Randall: (chuckles evilly) You still think this is about that stupid scare record?
Mike: Well... I did. Right up until you... chuckled... like that... And now I'm thinking I should just get out of here. (

Needleman: Hey, Mr. Sullivan!
Sulley: Guys, I told you, call me Sulley.
Smitty: (Giggling) I don't think so.
Needleman: We just wanted to wish you good luck today.
Mike: Hey, hey, hey, hey. Come on, get lost, you two. You're making him lose his focus.
Needleman: Oh, sorry.
Sulley: See you later, fellas.
Smitty: Go get 'em, Mr. Sullivan!
Needleman: Quiet! You're making him lose his focus.
Smitty: Oh, no. Sorry!
Needleman: Shut up! (

Sulley: Boo!
(Boo falls into the trash can)
Sulley: No!
CDA Agent: Hey you!
(Sulley gasps)
CDA Agent: Halt! He's the one! The one's from the commercial! Affirmative. That's him. Can we get an autograph?
Sulley: (Relieved) Oh! Oh sure! No problem! (

Celia: Oh, Michael, I've had a lot of birthdays - well, not a lot of birthdays but this is the best birthday ever.
(Mike stares lovingly at her)
Celia: What are you looking at?
Mike: I was just thinking about the first time I laid eye on you, how pretty you looked.
Celia: (shyly) Stop it.
Mike: Your hair was shorter then.
Celia: Mm-hmm. I'm thinking about getting it cut.
(the snakes in Celia's hair squeal with fear)
Mike: No-no, I like it this length.
(the snakes sigh in relief)
Mike: I like everything about you. Just the other day someone asked me who I thought the most beautiful was in all of Monstropolis. You know what I said?
Celia: What did you say?
Mike: I said...
(Just then, Sulley's face appears in the window behind Celia)
Mike: Sulley?
Celia: Sulley? (

Mike: Hey, genius. Wanna know why I bought the car?
Sulley: Not really.
Mike: To drive it! You know, like on the street? With the honk-honk and the vroom-vroom, and the no walking involved?
Sulley: Wah, wah, wah. Will you give it a rest, butterball? C'mon, you could use the exercise.
Mike: I could use the exercise? Look at you. You have your own climate. (

Mike: Scary feet, scary feet, scary feet, scary feet, oop! The kid's awake!
(Sulley ducks down)
Mike: Okay, scary feet, scary feet, scary feet, scary feet, kid's asleep!
(Sulley roars)
Mike: Twins! In a bunk bed!
(Sulley growls high, then low, then high then low again)
Mike: Darn I thought I had you with that one! (

Yeti: Snow cone?
Mike: Yuck.
Yeti: No, no, no, don't worry. It's lemon. (

Sulley: What was that?
Mike Wazowski: I have no idea. But it would be a really good idea if it didn't do it again. (

Mike: Roz, my tender, oozing blossom, you're looking fabulous today. Is that a new haircut? Come on, tell me it's a new haircut, isn't it? It's got to be a new haircut. New makeup? You had a lift? You had a tuck? You had something? Something has been inserted in in you that makes you look... Listen, I need a favor. Randall was working late last night out on the scare floor. I really need the key to the door he was using.
Roz: Well, isn't that nice? But guess what? You didn't turn in your paperwork last night.
Mike: He didn't... I... no paperwork?
Roz: This office is now closed.
(closes the window on Mike's fingers)

Mike: (unlocks his car) Come on, hop on in.
Sulley: No way, there's a scream shortage. We're walking.
Mike: No, come on, It's just-I... just...
(is pulled away from his car after a struggle and locks his car again)
Mike: I-I'll call ya! (

(Mike complains to Sulley about Randall)
Mike: One of these days I am really... going to let you teach that guy a lesson. (

Sulley: The power's out. Make her laugh again.
Mike: All right, I got a move here, it'll bring down the house. Up!
(Does a backflip, lands on his crotch)
Sulley: Oh, sorry, she didn't see that.
Mike: What? What'd you do, forget to check if her stupid hood was up, you big dope?
Sulley: Uncle Mike, try not to yell in front of her. You know we still need her to laugh.
Mike: Right. He-he! Hey, Boo! Just kidding. Look!
(Slams the door on his face, making baby noises)
Mike: Funny, right? Huh? With the... These are the jokes, kid. (

Mike: (Spotting Sulley while he's working out) 118. Do you have 119? Do I see 120? Oh, I don't believe it!
Sulley: I'm not even breaking a sweat.
Mike: Not you! Look! The new commercial's on. (

Needleman: So I said, "If you talk to me like that again, we're through."
Smitty: Oh! What did she say?
Needleman: You know my mom. She sent me to my room. (

Babysitter: Well, hello there. What's your name?
Boo: Mike Wazowski. (

Henry J. Waternoose: There's nothing more toxic or deadly than a human child. A single touch could kill you. Leave a door open, and one can walk right into this factory; right into the monster world.
Trainee: I won't go into a kid's room. You can't make me. (

Randall: Shh. Shh. Shh. Shh. Do you hear that? It's the winds of change. (

(Mike and Sully have transported to Hawaii)
Mike: Why couldn't we have been banished here? (

Mike: Sulley, what are we doing?
Sulley: We have to get Boo's door and find a station.
Mike: What a plan. Simple, yet insane. (

Randall: If I don't see a door in my station in 5 seconds, I will personally put you through the shredder. (

Randall: Say hello to the Scream Extractor.
Mike: Hello. Hey, where are you going? C'mon, we'll talk! We'll have a latte! (

Sulley: Mike, this isn't Boo's door.
Mike: Boo? What's Boo?
Sulley: That's... what I decided to call her. Is there a problem?
Mike: Sulley, you're not supposed to name it. Once you name it, you start getting attached to it. Now put that thing back where it came from or so help me...
(pauses, realizing that they suddenly have the attention of the entire scare floor)
Mike: Oh, hey. We're rehearsing a - a scene for the upcoming company play called uh, Put That Thing Back Where It Came From Or So Help Me. It's a musical.
Mike: Put that thing back where it came from or so help me... so help me, so help me and cut. We're still working on it, it's a work in progress but, hey, we need ushers. (

Randall: I'm in the zone today, Sullivan. I'm gonna do some serious scaring, putting up some big numbers. (

(Ward runs out of a door, scared to tears)
Ward's Assistant: What happened?
Ward: The kid almost touched me. She got this close to me.
Ward's Assistant: She wasn't scared of you? She was only six.
Ward: (shakes his assistant) I could have been dead. I could have DIED.
Ward's Assistant: (slaps Ward) Keep it together, man. (

Mike: You're the boss! You're the boss! You're the big, hairy boss! (

Mike: Can I borrow your odorant?
Sulley: Yeah, I got, uh, Smelly Garbage or Old Dumpster.
Mike: You got, uh, Low Tide?
Sulley: No.
Mike: How about Wet Dog?
Sulley: Yep. Stink it up. (

(Boo, in disguise, walks up to Mr. Waternoose)
Henry J. Waternoose: Well hello, little one. Where did you come from?
Sulley: Mr. Waternoose.
Henry J. Waternoose: Ah, James. Is this one yours?
Sulley: Ah, actually that's my uh, cousin's sister's daughter, sir.
Mike: Yeah, it's uh, "Bring an Obscure Relative to Work Day".
Henry J. Waternoose: Hmm, must have missed the memo. (

Sulley: Hey... may the best monster win.
Randall: I plan to. (

Mike: I'm telling you, Big Daddy. You're gonna be seeing this face on TV more often.
Sulley: Yeah, like on "Monstropolis' Most Wanted"?
Mike: Ha, ha, ha. You've been jealous of my good looks since the fourth grade, pal. (

Mike: (while Sulley brushes teeth) C'mon, fight that plaque! Fight that plaque! Scary monsters don't have plaque! (

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