Kung Fu Panda (2008) » Quotes

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"Panda,he`s a panda!" Turns around to face Po."What are you gonna do big guy? Sit on me?" Tai Lung chuckles! -BELIEVE***

(Tai-Lung`s nerve strikes are only tickling Po)
Po: (laughing) Stop! I`m gonna pee!

Shifu: When you focus on kung fu, when you concentrate... you stink.
(Po frowns)
Shifu: But perhaps that is my fault. I cannot train you the way I have trained the Five. I now see that the way to get through to you is, with this.
(pulls out a bowl of dumplings)
Po: Oh great, `cause I am hungry!
Shifu: (laughs and pulls the bowl away) Good. When you have been trained, you may eat.
(He eats a dumpling)
Shifu: Let us begin.

Tai Lung: Who are you?
Po: Buddy, I... am the Dragon Warrior!
(bows over, panting from the stairs)
Tai Lung: (incredulous) You?
(laughs)
Tai Lung: He`s a panda! You`re a panda! What are you gonna do, big guy? Sit on me?
Po: Don`t tempt me.

Tai Lung: Finally... oh, yes... at last, the power of the Dragon Scroll shall be mine!
(He opens the scroll - and stares at it)
Tai Lung: It`s... it`s nothing!
Po: It`s okay. I didn`t get it the first time either.
Tai Lung: What?
Po: There is no secret ingredient. It`s just you.

(watching Po get massacred by the training hall`s obstacle course)
Shifu: This`ll be easier than I thought.

Shifu: Let us begin.
Po: What? Uh... I don`t think I can do all those moves right away.
Shifu: (chuckles) Well, we`ll never know unless we try, will we?
Po: Well, maybe we could start out with something more at, you know, my level.
Shifu: And what level is that?
Po: Uh... level zero?
Shifu: (chuckles) There is no level zero.
Po: Well, what about that?
(He indicates a small dummy)
Shifu: That? We use that for training children, and for propping the door open when it gets hot. But, if you insist...

Tai Lung: (growls) I rotted in jail for 20 years because of YOUR weakness!
Shifu: Obeying your master is not weakness!
Tai Lung: You knew I was the Dragon Warrior! You always knew! But when Oogway said otherwise, what did you do? What did you do? Nothing!
Shifu: You were not meant to be the Dragon Warrior, that was not my fault!
Tai Lung: Not your fault? Who filled my head with dreams? Who drove me to train until my bones cracked? Who denied me my destiny?
Shifu: It was never my decision to make!
Tai Lung: (snarls and holds up Oogway`s stick) It is now. Give me the scroll.
Shifu: I would rather die.

(after completing his training)
Shifu: You have done well, Panda.
Po: Done well? Done well? Ha, I`ve done awesome!
(Elbows Shifu)
Shifu: The sign of a true hero is humility. But, yes, you have done...
(elbows Po, causing him to stagger)
Shifu: ... awesome.
(They laugh)

(Po slurps up noodles, one ends up dr*ped on his nose like Shifu`s mustaches. Everyone starts chuckling)
Po: What?
Mantis: Oh, nothing... Master Shifu.
Po: Oh, yeah, yeah.
(imitating Shifu)
Po: "You`ll never be the Dragon Warrior, unless you lose 500 pounds and brush your teeth!"
(everyone except Tigress laughs)
Po: "What is that noise you`re making? Laughter? I never heard of it!"

Shifu: After you, Panda.
Po: What? Just like that? No sit-ups? No ten-mile hike?
Shifu: I vowed to train you, and you have been trained. You are free to eat.
(Po picks up his chopsticks)
Shifu: Enjoy.
(Po lifts a dumpling to his mouth, but it is snatched away)
Po: Hey!
Shifu: I said, you are free to eat. Have a dumpling.
(Po tries another dumpling, it is snatched away again)
Shifu: You-are-free-to-eat.
Po: Am I?
Shifu: Are you?

Tai Lung: Shifu taught you well.
(disables Monkey with a nerve strike)
Tai Lung: But he didn`t teach you everything.

(Tai Lung, after evading all the prison`s deathtraps, leaps to the last one, a cluster of dynamite, and pulls it free)
Zeng: Can we run now?
Commander Vachir: (quavering) Yes.

Oogway: You are too concerned with what was and what will be. There`s a saying: "Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why it is called the present."

Shifu: Master! I have... it`s very bad news!
Oogway: Ah, Shifu. There is just news. There is no good or bad.
Shifu: Master, your vision. Your vision was right! Tai-Lung has broken out of prison! He`s on his way!
(pause)
Oogway: That *is* bad news.

Gang Boss: I see you like to chew. Then perhaps you should chew... on my fist!
(smashes fist on table)
Po: (voice-over) The warrior said nothing, for his mouth was full. And then he swallowed...
(swallows)
Po: ...and then he said: "All right, let`s fight!"

Po: But dad, didn`t you ever, I don`t know, want to do something else? Something besides noodles?
Mr. Ping: Actually, when I was young and crazy, I thought about running away and learning how to make tofu.
Po: So why didn`t you?
Mr. Ping: Oh, because it was a stupid dream; can you imagine *me* making tofu?
(laughs airily)
Mr. Ping: No: we all have our place in this world: mine is here, and yours is...
Po: I know: here.
Mr. Ping: (throws Po bowls of soup to catch) No, it`s at tables two, five, seven and twelve. Service with a smile!

Mr. Ping: (after Po told him he had dream about noodle) This is a sign, Po!
Po: Uh, a sign of what?
Mr. Ping: You are almost ready to be entrusted with the secret ingredient of my secret ingredient soup. And then you will fulfill your destiny and take over the restaurant just as I took it over from my father who took it over from his father who won it from a friend in a game of mahjong.

Mr. Ping: The secret ingredient is... nothing!
Po: Huh?
Mr. Ping: You heard me. Nothing! There is no secret ingredient.
Po: Wait, wait... it`s just plain old noodle soup? You don`t add some kind of special sauce or something?
Mr. Ping: Don`t have to. To make something special you just have to believe it`s special.
Po: There is no secret ingredient...

Monkey: (after the Furious Five bowed to Po in his dream) We should hang out.
Po: Agreed.

Po: (standing before a training dummy) Hey, what you got? You got nothing because I got it right here. You picking on my friends? Get ready to feel the thunder. Come out with the crazy feet. What you goin` to do about the crazy feet. I`m a blur! I`m a blur! You never seen *Bear* style!

Shifu: (after having dragged Po up the mountain and said Panda is trying to cool down) Panda, we do not wash our pits in the Pool of Sacred Tears.
Po: (quickly shakes his hand off) The Pool of-?
Shifu: This is where Oogway unraveled the mysteries of harmony and focus. This is the birth place of kung fu.
(Po is shocked, and it shows a glimpse of Oogway before Shifu jumps up to a giant rock)
Shifu: Do you want to learn kung fu?
Po: Yah!
Shifu: Then I *am* your master!
Po: Okay!
(sniffles)
Shifu: Don`t cry.
Po: Okay.
(wipes his nose and smiles)

Po: (checking to make sure Shifu is okay after his fight with Tai Lung) Master! Shifu! Shifu, are you okay?
Shifu: (coughs) Po, you`re alive. Or we`re both dead.
Po: No, Master I didn`t die. I defeated Tai Lung.
Shifu: You did?
(Po nods and smiles)
Shifu: Wow. It is as Oogway foretold, you are the Dragon Warrior. You have brought peace to this valley and... and to me. Thank you, thank you Po. Thank you, thank you.
(slowly lays his head back down, assumingly dead)
Po: (Po looks disbelievingly at the red panda) No! No no no, don`t die, Shifu please!
Shifu: I`m not dying, you idiot!
(he catches himself)
Shifu: Ah, Dragon Warrior, I am simply at peace.
(lays down and folds his hands together, smiling)
Shifu: Finally.
Po: Ooh, so um, I should... stop talking?
Shifu: If you can.

Po: (after being hit in the crotch) Oh! My tenders!

Po: (breathing heavily) I know you`re trying to be all mystical and Kung Fu-ey, but could you tell me where we`re going?

Po: Maybe I should just quit and go back to making noodles.
Oogway: Quit, don`t quit? Noodles, don`t noodles? You are too concerned about what was and what will be. There is a saying: yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why it is called the "present."

Tai Lung: I have come home, master.
Shifu: This is no longer your home and I am no longer your master.
Tai Lung: Oh, yes. You have a new favorite. So where is this "Po?"
(chuckles)
Tai Lung: Did I scare him off?
Shifu: This battle is between you and me.
Tai Lung: So, that is how it`s going to be.
Shifu: That is how it must be.

Po: (looking around at the historical artifacts in the palace) Wow! I`ve only seen paintings of that painting!

Tigress: Shifu loved Tai Lung like he had never loved anyone before... or since. And now, he has a chance to make things right. To train the true Dragon Warrior. And he`s stuck with you, a big, fat panda who treats it like a joke.
(Po makes a sudden funny face and Tigress gets angry and attempts to smack him)
Tigress: Oh that is it!
Mantis: Wait, my fault! I accidentally tweaked his facial nerve!
(Po falls to the ground revealing a lot of needles in his back)
Mantis: And may have also stopped his heart.

Oogway: One often meets his destiny on the road he takes to avoid it.

Shifu: Our only hope is the Dragon Warrior.
Tigress: The panda?
Shifu: Yes, the panda!
Tigress: Master, please!
(pushes chair out)
Tigress: Let us stop Tai Lung, this is what you`ve trained us for!
Shifu: No! It is not your destiny to defeat Tai Lung, it is his!
(points at Po, then realizes he`s not there)
Shifu: Where`d he go?

Po: No! The Legendary Urn of Whispering Warriors; said to contain the souls of the entire Tenshu Army!
Po: (whispering to the urn) Hello?
Shifu: (from behind Po) Have you finished sight-seeing?
Po: (stunned, thinking the voice had come from the urn) Sorry, I should`ve come to see you first.
Shifu: My patience is wearing thin.
Po: Oh, well, I mean it`s not like you were going anywhere.

Shifu: But who? Who is worthy to be trusted with the secret to limitless power? To become the Dragon Warrior?
Oogway: I don`t know.

Shifu: (intercepting Po, who is fleeing the temple after learning he has to face Tai Lung soon) You cannot leave! A real warrior never quits!
Po: Watch me!
(tries to run around Shifu)
Po: Come on! How am I supposed to beat Tai Lung? I can`t even beat you to the stairs!
Shifu: You will beat him because you are the Dragon Warrior!
(pokes Po in his stomach)
Po: You don`t believe that!
(Shifu swipes at his hand with Oogway`s stick)
Po: You never believed that! From the first moment I got here, you`ve been trying to get rid of me!
(Shifu knocks him to the ground)
Shifu: Yes! I was! But now I ask you to trust in your master as I have come to trust in mine.
Po: You`re not my master. And I`m not the Dragon Warrior.
Shifu: Then why didn`t you quit? You knew I was trying to get rid of you, yet you stayed!
Po: Yeah, I stayed. I stayed because everytime you threw a brick at my head or said I smelled; it hurt, but it could never hurt more than everyday of my life just being me. I stayed because I thought if anyone can change me, can make me not me, it was you! The greatest kung fu teacher in all of China!
Shifu: I can change you! I can turn you into the Dragon Warrior! And I will!
Po: Come on! Tai Lung is on his way here right now! And even if it takes him a hundred years to get here, how are *you* gonna change *this* into the Dragon Warrior? Huh? How? How? How!
Shifu: I don`t know!
(sighs)
Shifu: I don`t know.
Po: (sighs and frowns sadly) That`s what I thought.

Shifu: Believe me, citizens, you have not seen anything yet!
Po: I know!

Po: I just ate, so I`m still digesting, so my kung fu may not be as good as later on.

Zeng: (watching Tai-Lung break out of his prison restraints) We`re dead. So very, very dead.

Oogway: (walking towards Po) Ah! I see that you have found the Sacred Peach Tree of Heavenly Wisdom!
Po: (Po turns around with a lot of peaches stuffed in his mouth) Oh! Is that what this is? I`m so sorry! I just thought it was a regular peach tree!

Shifu: One must first master the highest level of kung fu, and that is clearly impossible if that one is someone like you.
Po: Someone like me?
Shifu: Yes! Look at you! This fat butt-
(he whacks Po on his butt)
Po: Aah!
Shifu: ...Flabby arms-
(he hits Po on his arm)
Po: Those are sensitive in the flabby parts...
Shifu: And this ridiculous belly!
Po: Hey!
Shifu: And your utter disregard for personal hygiene!
Po: Now wait a minute, that was a little uncalled for...
Shifu: Don`t stand that close, I can smell your breath.
Po: Listen, Oogway said that I was-
(Shifu grabs his finger and he gasps)
Po: The Wuxi finger hold? No no, the Wuxi finger hold!
Shifu: Oh-hoho, you know this hold?
Po: Developed by Master Wuxi in the 3rd dynasty, yes!
Shifu: Oh, then you must know what happens when I flex my pinkie?
Po: (gasps) No no no no!
Shifu: You know the hardest part of this? The hardest part is cleaning up afterwards.
(chuckles)
Po: Okay... Okay take it easy...
(Po falls to his knees)
Shifu: Now listen closely, panda. Oogway may have picked you, but when I`m through, I promise you, you`re going to wish he hadn`t! Are we clear?
Po: Oh, yeah! We`re clear, we`re clear, we`re so clear!
Shifu: Good.
(chuckles)
Shifu: I can`t wait to get started.

Po: Ow! I thought you said acupuncture was going to make me feel better.
Mantis: Trust me, it will. It`s just not easy to find the right nerve points under all this...
Po: Fat?
Mantis: Fur. I was gonna say fur.
Po: Sure you were.

Viper: Are you ready?
Po: I was born read...
(Viper attacks, Po is flung and lands on his head)
Viper: I`m sorry, Brother! I thought you said you were ready.
Po: That was awesome! Let`s go again!

Po: The Sword of Heroes! Said to be so sharp you can get cut just by looking at - Ow!

Po: The Furious Five! You look a lot bigger than your action figures! Except you, Mantis. You`re about the same.

Tigress: One would think that Master Oogway would choose someone who actually knew kung fu.
Crane: Yeah, or could at least touch his toes.
Monkey: Or even see his toes.

Tigress: (seeing Po bounce down the palace steps) If he`s smart, he won`t come back up those steps.
Monkey: But he will.
Viper: He`s not gonna quit, is he?
Mantis: He`s not gonna quit bouncing, I`ll tell you that.

Tigress: It is said that the Dragon Warrior can go for months without eating, surviving on the dew of a single ginko leaf and the energy of the universe.
Po: Then I guess my body doesn`t know I`m the Dragon Warrior yet. It`s gonna take a lot more than dew, and, uh, universe juice.

Mr. Ping: We are noodle folk. Broth runs through our veins.

Po: It is said that his enemies would go blind from over-exposure to pure awesomeness!

(first lines)
Po: Legend tells of a legendary warrior whose kung fu skills were the stuff of legend.

Tai Lung: The Wuxi finger hold!
Po: Oh, you know this hold?
Tai Lung: You`re bluffing. You`re bluffing! Shifu didn`t teach you that.
Po: Nope. I figured it out. Skadoosh!


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