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"I wouldn`t p*ss on her if she was on fire." (in reference to `Joan Crawford`)

Getting old is not for sissies.

I went back to work because someone had to pay for the groceries.

(On rival Joan Crawford): "She has slept with every male star at MGM except Lassie."

What a fool I was to come to Hollywood where they only understand platinum blondes and where legs are more important than talent.

I would advise any woman against having an affair with a married man believing he will ever leave his wife, no matter how often he says his wife does not understand him. Love is not as necessary to a man`s happiness as it is to a woman`s. If her marriage is satisfactory, a woman will seldom stray. A man can be totally contented and still be out howling at the moon.

An affair now and then is good for a marriage. It adds spice, stops it from getting boring. I ought to know.

"Of course I replaced my father. I became my own father and everyone else`s." (referring to her parents` divorce when she was 7)

(in reference to Katharine Hepburn`s tie for the 1968 Oscar with Barbra Streisand): "I wanted to be the first to win three Oscars, but Miss Hepburn has done it. Actually it hasn`t been done. Miss Hepburn only won half an Oscar. If they`d given me half an Oscar I would have thrown it back in their faces. You see, I`m an Aries. I never lose."

(when told not to speak ill of the dead) `Just because someone is dead does not mean they have changed!`

I`m the nicest goddamn dame that ever lived.

Today everyone is a star - they`re all billed as `starring` or `also starring`. In my day, we earned that recognition.

I was thought to be `stuck up.` I wasn`t. I was just sure of myself. This is and always has been an unforgivable quality to the unsure.

At one time, the actress, who won Oscars for Dangerous (1935) and Jezebel (1938) had quite a reputation for being difficult - "At one time?!" she erupts. "I`ve been known as difficult for 50 years, practically! What do you mean `at one time`?! Nooo, I`ve been like this for 50 years. And it`s always always to make it the best film I can make it!"

(on sex) "God`s biggest joke on human beings."

Why am I so good at playing b*tches? I think it`s because I`m not a b*tch. Maybe that`s why (Joan Crawford) always plays ladies.

You should never say bad things about the dead, you should only say good . . . Joan Crawford is dead. Good! (on the death of her long-time nemesis)

He was just beautiful...Errol (Flynn). He himself openly said I don`t know really anything about acting, and I admire his honesty because he`s absolutely right.

(on Errol Flynn) He was not an actor of enormous talent -- he would have admitted that himself -- but in all those swashbuckling things he was beautiful.

If you want a thing well done, get a couple of old broads to do it.

I do not regret one professional enemy I have made. Any actor who doesn`t dare to make an enemy should get out of the business.

I am doomed to an eternity of compulsive work. No set goal achieved satisfies. Success only breeds a new goal. The golden apple devoured has seeds. It is endless.

I always had the will to win. I felt it baking cookies. They had to be the best cookies anyone baked.

I`d marry again if I found a man who had fifteen million dollars, would sign over half to me, and guarantee that he`d be dead within a year.

The male ego, with few exceptions, is elephantine to start with.

I have never known the great actor who... didn`t plan eventually to direct or produce. If he has no such dream, he is usually bitter, ungratified and eventually alcoholic.

There was more good acting at Hollywood parties than ever appeared on the screen.

To fulfill a dream, to be allowed to sweat over lonely labor, to be given a chance to create, is the meat and potatoes of life. The money is the gravy.

Love is not enough. It must be the foundation, the cornerstone - but not the complete structure. It is much too pliable, too yielding.

My passions were all gathered together like fingers that made a fist. Drive is considered aggression today; I knew it then as purpose.

(On her character in All About Eve (1950)): "Margo Channing was not a b*tch. She was an actress who was getting older and was not too happy about it. And why should she? Anyone who says that life begins at 40 is full of it. As people get older their bodies begin to decay. They get sick. They forget things. What`s good about that?"

I see - she`s the original good time that was had by all.

(on John Wayne) I certainly would have given anything to have worked with John Wayne. He`s the most attractive man who ever walked the earth, I think.

(After having blown the same line several times in Hollywood Canteen (1944), in which she plays herself): "I don`t know what`s wrong with me, but I think I just can`t play myself. I don`t know how! But, if you give me a drink - give me a cigarette - give me a gun - I`ll play any old bag you want me to. I just can`t play myself!"

To fulfill a dream, to be allowed to sweat over lonely labor, to be given the chance to create, is the meat and potatoes of life. The money is the gravy. As everyone else, I love to dunk my crust in it. But alone, it is not a diet designed to keep body and soul together.

This became a credo of mine...attempt the impossible in order to improve your work.

I want to die with my high heels on, still in action. (Before taking her final flight in 1989)

At 50, I thought proudly, `Here we are, half century!` Being 60 was fairly frightening. You want to know how I spent my 70th birthday? I put on a completely black face, a fuzzy black afro wig, wore black clothes, and hung a black wreath on my door.

There are new words now that excuse everybody. Give me the good old days of heroes and villains. the people you can bravo or hiss. There was a truth to them that all the slick credulity of today cannot touch.

Success only breeds a new goal.

I will never be below the title.

I was a person who couldn`t make divorce work. For me, there`s nothing lonelier than a turned-down toilet seat.

I have been uncompromising, peppery, infractable, monomaniacal, tactless, volatile and offtimes disagreeable. I suppose I`m larger than life.

Gay Liberation? I ain`t against it, it`s just that there`s nothing in it for me.

Until you`re known in my profession as a monster, you`re not a star.

(on director Lindsay Anderson) I think he`s a very talented man, but I think he`s a difficult man to work with. He really prefers theater and not film, and that`s a little depressing, I must say.

Beyond the Forest (1949) was a terrible movie! It had the longest death scene ever seen on the screen.

(In 1982) "Acting should be bigger than life. Scripts should be bigger than life. It should ALL be bigger than life."

When I die, they`ll probably auction off my false eyelashes.

(Joan Crawford) and I have never been warm friends. We are not simpatico. I admire her, and yet I feel uncomfortable with her. To me, she is the personification of the Movie Star. I have always felt her greatest performance is Crawford being Crawford.


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