Jersey Girl Quotes

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(Maya arrives at the front door)
Gertie: (to Maya) Hey! You're the lady from the video store.
Ollie: Let's not use that term too loosely, okay? Go back and watch your video. (imdb.com)

(last lines)
Gertie: Thank you, Daddy.
Ollie: Anything for you, Gert. You know why?
Gertie: Why?
Ollie: 'Cause you're the only thing I was ever really good at. (imdb.com)

Ollie: Why don't you go get yourself a boyfriend?
Maya: Why don't you go get yourself a girlfriend?
Ollie: I spend all day working and spend all night with my kid.
Maya: So you would rather spend time with your daughter than get laid?
Ollie: Yeah.
Maya: That's sweet. I'm kind of crushing on you, Trinke. (imdb.com)

Ollie: Come on, Dad. Don't you wanna live alone again?
Bart: Not as much as I don't wanna die alone. (imdb.com)

Maya: I do it at least twice a day.
Ollie: Good God! (imdb.com)

Ollie: George Michael is all about the ladies. "I want your sex". Does that sound like he's singing to a guy? (imdb.com)

Will Smith: 'Ey, you Brickman?
Ollie: No. I'm just a guy who'd rather play in the dirt with his kid. (imdb.com)

Ollie: "Cats" is the second-worst thing that ever happened to New York City. (imdb.com)

Ollie: They're just skinny because they're coked out wh*res.
Gertrude Steiney: (sobbing) I wanna' be a coked-out wh*re!
Ollie: Okay. You can be a coked-out wh*re. You can be a coked-out, coked-out wh*re. (imdb.com)

Bryan: (reading his paper) My mom says my dad's eyes are brown because he's so full of sh - .
Teacher: (interrupts him before he swears) Bryan! (imdb.com)

Will Smith: What's your daughter's name?
Ollie: Gertrude.
Will Smith: Damn, why'd you do that man? (imdb.com)

Ollie: Convincing a town to approve something that's already in their best interest, that's just delayed common sense! (imdb.com)

Bart: Sun even shines on a dog's ass some days.
Greenie: You gettin' a dog? (imdb.com)

Boy #5: Okay, it's like this. My dog ate my paper. I checked, but he didn't poop it out. (imdb.com)

Ollie: (to Gertie) You're the only thing I was ever good at. (imdb.com)

(first lines)
Teacher: Everyone, please take your seats. You heard the bell. You know what it means. Last week, the assignment was to write an essay about your family. Who they...
Teacher: (class: "Are!") And what they...
Teacher: (class: "Mean to us!") Excellent droning. (imdb.com)

Bart: If Gertie could see the sh*t you've been pulling.
Ollie: Gertie can't see anything, Dad. She's dead.
Bart: That's right, she is. But you ain't. And neither is that kid. (imdb.com)

Gertie: Did Mommy like New York?
Ollie: Yeah, she loved it.
Gertie: Then I guess I will too. (imdb.com)

Maya: That was kinda sweet. I'm kinda crushin' on you right now, Trinke. (imdb.com)

Ollie: Isn't that cute? It's 8 o'clock and you both get a bottle. (imdb.com)

(Gertie and Ollie are at a video store)
Gertie: You should be a dance teacher, like Johnny in "Dirty Dancing."
Ollie: l should? Should l say, ''Nobody puts Baby in a corner''?
Gertie: Oh, can we rent "Dirty Dancing" again?
Ollie: Ohh... "Dirty Dancing" ranks one notch below "Cats" in my book. Can you pick out something else?
Gertie: Can we rent this?
(gives Ollie the box to "Men in Black")
Ollie: (while examining the movie) Absolutely not. Go pick out something from the children's section.
Gertie: All those movies s*ck!
Ollie: Watch your language!
(Ollie grabs a video from the adult video section) (imdb.com)

Gertie: Punch it, Chewie.
(imdb.com)

Ollie: Convincing a town to approve something that's already in their best interest, that's just delayed common sense!
(imdb.com)

(first lines)
Teacher: Everyone, please take your seats. You heard the bell. You know what it means. Last week, the assignment was to write an essay about your family. Who they...
Teacher: (class: "Are!") And what they...
Teacher: (class: "Mean to us!") Excellent droning.
(imdb.com)

Maya: That was kinda sweet. I'm kinda crushin' on you right now, Trinke.
(imdb.com)

Ollie: (having just been asked to come to the bar with Gertie and Bart) No, that's OK, I'll stay here and do the dishes. I only cooked, why shouldn't I clean?
Bart: Suit yourself. Don't wash that pan, I got a nice layer of juice built up for the pork roll, and I don't want you scrubbing it off.
Ollie: That 'juice' is called grease, dad. It's bad for you. It clogs your arteries.
Bart: It's called 'juice'. And it greases your father's insides so he can better swallow the sh*t his son feeds him twice a year, when he can be bothered to come to visit him.
(imdb.com)

Boy #3: My Mom says my Dad has brown eyes because he is full of sh*t.
(imdb.com)

Bart: Sun even shines on a dog's ass some days.
Greenie: You gettin' a dog?
(imdb.com)

Ollie: "Cats" is the second-worst thing that ever happened to New York City.
(imdb.com)

(last lines)
Gertie: Thank you, Daddy.
Ollie: Anything for you, Gert. You know why?
Gertie: Why?
Ollie: 'Cause you're the only thing I was ever really good at.
(imdb.com)

Gertie: I hate you! I hate you! I wish you died, not MOMMY!
Ollie: I hate you right back you little sh*t! You and your mom took my life away from me. I just want it back!
(imdb.com)

(Maya arrives at the front door)
Gertie: (to Maya) Hey! You're the lady from the video store.
Ollie: Let's not use that term too loosely, okay? Go back and watch your video.
(imdb.com)

Boy #5: Okay, it's like this. My dog ate my paper. I checked, but he didn't poop it out.
(imdb.com)

Bryan: (reading his paper) My mom says my dad's eyes are brown because he's so full of sh - .
Teacher: (interrupts him before he swears) Bryan!
(imdb.com)

Ollie: Come on, Dad. Don't you wanna live alone again?
Bart: Not as much as I don't wanna die alone.
(imdb.com)

Will Smith: 'Ey, you Brickman?
Ollie: No. I'm just a guy who'd rather play in the dirt with his kid.
(imdb.com)

Ollie: Isn't that cute? It's 8 o'clock and you both get a bottle.
(imdb.com)

Ollie: Why don't you go get yourself a boyfriend?
Maya: Why don't you go get yourself a girlfriend?
Ollie: I spend all day working and spend all night with my kid.
Maya: So you would rather spend time with your daughter than get laid?
Ollie: Yeah.
Maya: That's sweet. I'm kind of crushing on you, Trinke.
(imdb.com)

Maya: Forget about what you thought you were and just accept who you are.
(imdb.com)

Maya: I do it at least twice a day.
Ollie: Good God!
(imdb.com)

Ollie: George Michael is all about the ladies. "I want your sex". Does that sound like he's singing to a guy?
(imdb.com)

(Gertie and Ollie are at a video store)
Gertie: You should be a dance teacher, like Johnny in "Dirty Dancing."
Ollie: l should? Should l say, ''Nobody puts Baby in a corner''?
Gertie: Oh, can we rent "Dirty Dancing" again?
Ollie: Ohh... "Dirty Dancing" ranks one notch below "Cats" in my book. Can you pick out something else?
Gertie: Can we rent this?
(gives Ollie the box to "Men in Black")
Ollie: (while examining the movie) Absolutely not. Go pick out something from the children's section.
Gertie: All those movies s*ck!
Ollie: Watch your language!
(Ollie grabs a video from the adult video section)
(imdb.com)

Ollie: They're just skinny because they're coked out wh*res.
Gertrude Steiney: (sobbing) I wanna' be a coked-out wh*re!
Ollie: Okay. You can be a coked-out wh*re. You can be a coked-out, coked-out wh*re.
(imdb.com)

Ollie: (to Gertie) You're the only thing I was ever good at.
(imdb.com)

Bart: If Gertie could see the sh*t you've been pulling.
Ollie: Gertie can't see anything, Dad. She's dead.
Bart: That's right, she is. But you ain't. And neither is that kid.
(imdb.com)

Will Smith: What's your daughter's name?
Ollie: Gertrude.
Will Smith: Damn, why'd you do that man?
(imdb.com)

Gertie: Did Mommy like New York?
Ollie: Yeah, she loved it.
Gertie: Then I guess I will too.
(imdb.com)

Bart: Try acting like a father, sh*t-head.
(imdb.com)

Bart: You know, you really had me scared for a moment there.
Ollie: Awww, who knew. All these years you were nursing a little stage fright!
Bart: Not that, smart-ass.
(imdb.com)

Maya: I do it at least twice a day.
Ollie: Good God! (imdb.com)


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