Home Alone 2: Lost in New York (1992) » Quotes


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(in the basement, looking up at the hole he fell through)
Marv: Wow! What a hole!

Harry: (Yelling up to Kevin) Sonny. Nothing would make me happier than to kill you. Knockin` off a youngster doesn`t mean a lot to me. But, since we`re in a hurry, I`ll make a deal with you. Throw down your camera, and we won`t hurt you, you`ll never hear from us again.
Kevin McCallister: You Promise?
Harry: (Rubbing his chest with his finger) I cross my heart and hope to die.
Kevin McCallister: Okay.
(Then Kevin picks up a brick and tosses it down, hitting Marv in the forehead and Marv collapses to the ground)
Harry: (Holding up 3 fingers) How many fingers am I holding up, Marv?
Marv: (Dazed) Uh, 8.
Harry: (to Kevin) You wanna throw bricks, go ahead throw another one.
(Kevin throws down another brick, hitting Marv in the forehead again)
Harry: If you can`t do any better than that kid, you`re gonna lose.
(Kevin throws down another brick, hitting Marv in the forehead again)
Harry: You got anymore?
(to Marv)
Harry: C`mon Marv, get up, he`s outta bricks.
(Marv points up and makes incoherent noises, signaling that Kevin is about to throw another brick)
Harry: What?
(Kevin throws the brick, and once again hits Marv in the forehead)
Harry: C`mon Marv get up, nobody throws bricks at me and gets away with it.
(to Marv)
Harry: go in the front, I`m going around the back.
Marv: (Still Dazed) Harry. Harry. Harry.

Peter McCallister: I don`t think that it`s a good idea for you to be running all over New York all by yourself.
Kate McCallister: I think that if our son can do it, I can do it.
Peter McCallister: Kate, it...
Kate McCallister: Peter, I`ll be fine. The way I`m feeling right now, no mugger or murderer would dare mess with me.
Mr. Hector, Hotel Concierge: Madam, there are hundreds of parasites out there, armed to the teeth...
(Kate slaps him)
Mr. Hector, Hotel Concierge: Do bundle up, it`s awfully cold outside.

Kevin McCallister: My grandfather says if my head wasn`t screwed on, I`d leave it on the school bus.

Kevin McCallister: I won`t forget to remember you.
Bird Lady: Don`t make promises you can`t keep.

Sleeping Man: Watch it, kid! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Marv: (they catch Kevin) You may have won the battle, little dude, but you lost the war.

Officer Bennett: Put yourself in your kid`s shoes, lady, where would you go?
Kate McCallister: I`d probably be lying dead in a gutter somewhere... but not Kevin, Kevin is so much stronger and braver than I am. But he`s still a kid lost in a big city, he doesn`t deserve that. He should be at home with his family around his Christmas tree... oh my God, I know where he is, I need to get to Rockefeller Center immediately.

Marv: (Kevin reaches the entrance to the park, but slips on the ice - causing his vision to spin, as Harry and Marv appear over him) My, how the tables have turned.
Harry: How do you like the ice kid?
(Harry and Marv look at each other, they both laugh and pick Kevin up)
Harry: Let`s go for a little stroll in the park.

(Marv stands in the doorway of the under-re-construction apartment house, in front of a big hole in the floor)
Marv: Harry, I`ve reached the top!
(Marv steps forward and falls through the hole to the very bottom of the house, in the basement)

(Harry readies to send Kevin to meet his maker)
Harry: (leveling his gun at Kevin) I never made it to the sixth grade, kid. And it doesn`t look like you`re gonna, either.

(hotel servants crawls aways very fast)
Mr. Hector, Hotel Concierge: Stay in your rooms! This is an emergency! There`s an insane guest here with a gun!

Kevin McCallister: Excuse me, but this is an emergency. What city is it out there?
NY Ticket Agent: It`s New York, sir.
Kevin McCallister: (Gasps) Yikes, I did it again.
NY Ticket Agent: Something`s wrong, sir?
Kevin McCallister: (in shocked whisper) I`ll be fine...

Harry: (Harry and Marv have captured Kevin outside the Plaza hotel) We spent nine months in jail, thinking we had the worst luck in the universe. We were wrong, little buddy.
Marv: We`re busted out of the klink and we`re doing fine. We`re going to be doing even better. Because we`re not robbing houses anymore. Now we`re robbing toy stores. At midnight tonight, we`re hitting Duncan`s Toy Chest. Five floors of cash. Then after that we get a couple of phony passports then it`s off to Rio...
Harry: Marv! Marv! You want to shut up?
Marv: What`s the difference? He`s not going to talk to anyone. Except maybe a fish. Or the undertaker.

(Kevin walks in on Frank singing in the shower and frank sees him)
Uncle Frank McCallister: Get outta here, you nosey little pervert or I`mgonna slap you silly!
(Kevin runs away and frank continues singing)
Uncle Frank McCallister: Ohhh, you`re cookin frankie!

Marv: Let`s kill.
Harry: Hold on peabrain. We got busted last time because we underestimated that little bundle of misery.
Marv: This ain`t like the last time. This ain`t his house. The kid`s running scared. He ain`t got a plan.
Harry: May I do the thinking please?

Marv: I`m gonna murder that kid.

Marv: He made us hide out in the store so we could steal all the kiddies` charity money.
Harry: (Kicks Marv) Shut up, Marv! You got the right to remain silent, you know.
Marv: He`s a little cranky. We just broke out of prison a few days ago.
Harry: (Kicks Marv again) Shut up, Marv! Geez.
Policeman: Get`em outta here.
Marv: Remember, if this makes the papers, we`re no longer the Wet Bandits, we`re the Sticky Bandits!
Harry: (Kicks Marv again) Shut up!
Marv: That`s S...
Harry: (Kicks Marv again) Shut up!
Marv: ...T...
(Gets kicked again)
Marv: Ummm...
Harry: I.
Marv: ...I...

(in the basement, Marv built a tower out of assorted items)
Harry: Marv, are you sure this is safe?
Marv: Oh yes. I`ve worked all the kinks out. `Solid as a rock.
(they climb up. Seconds later, it all comes crashing down)
Harry: Like a rock, huh Marv?

Kevin McCallister: Why do we have to go to Florida? There`s no Christmas trees in Florida.
Kate McCallister: Kevin, what is it with you and Christmas trees?
Kevin McCallister: How could you have Christmas without a Christmas tree, Mom?
Kate McCallister: Well... Find a nice, fake silver one. Or decorate a palm tree.

Kate McCallister: Oh, did you see what Grandma Penelope sent you for the trip?
Kevin McCallister: Um, let me guess... Donald Duck slippers?
Kate McCallister: Close. An inflatable clown to play with in the pool.
Kevin McCallister: (sarcastically) How exciting.

Kate McCallister: Honey, are you packed yet?
Kevin McCallister: (records into Talk Boy) Yes.
Talk Boy: (plays back) Yes.
Kate McCallister: Everything I put out for you?
Kevin McCallister: (records into Talk Boy) Yes.
Talk Boy: (plays back) Yes.

Mr. Hector, Hotel Concierge: And how are you this morning?
Kevin McCallister: Fine. Is my transportation here?
Mr. Hector, Hotel Concierge: Out in front sir. A limosuine and a piz-za! Compliments of the Plaza hotel.

Mrs. Stone, Desk Clerk: I`m confused.
Kevin McCallister: I`m traveling with my dad. He`s at a meeting. I hate meetings. Plus I`m not allowed to go in. I can only sit in the lobby. That`s boring. So he dropped me off here. He gave me his credit card and told me to give this to whoever was welcoming people in so I won`t get into mischief. And ma`am sometimes I do get into mischief. We all do!

Cedrick the Bellman: Mr. McCallister`s room service bill, Sir. Merry Christmas.
(holds out hand meagerly)
Buzz McCallister: Oh, here.
(takes wad of gum out of his mouth and places it in Cedrick`s outstretched hand)
Cedrick the Bellman: Nice family. Really.
(leaves)

Buzz McCallister: Okay, everybody, calm down! Calm down! Hey, hey! All right, now, if Kevin hadn`t have screwed up in the first place again... Then we wouldn`t be in this most perfect and huge hotel room with a truck load of all this free stuff. So I think it only fair that Kevin get to open up the first present. And then I`ll go and the rest of you and so on.
(Tosses a package to Kevin)
Buzz McCallister: Merry Christmas, Kevin.
Kevin McCallister: Thanks, Buzz.
Peter McCallister: (the entire family applauds) Merry Christmas, Kevin.
Uncle Frank McCallister: Okay, Kevin! All right. Merry Christmas!
Buzz McCallister: Okay enough of this gooey sh... Show of emotion. All right, everyone, let`s dig in!

Mr. Hector, Hotel Concierge: Cedrick.
Cedrick the Bellman: Yes?
Mr. Hector, Hotel Concierge: Don`t count your tips in public.

Mr. Hector, Hotel Concierge: I do hope your father understands that last night I was simply checking the room to make sure everything was in order.
Kevin McCallister: Well he was pretty mad.
Mr. Hector, Hotel Concierge: He was?
Kevin McCallister: He said he didn`t come all the way to New York to get his naked rear end spied on.

Kevin McCallister: Oh no. My family is in Florida and I`m in New York...
(Gleefully)
Kevin McCallister: My family`s in Florida... I`m in... New York.

Harry: Sonny!
Kevin McCallister: Yes?
Harry: Nothing would thrill me more greatly than to shoot you. Knocking off a youngster ain`t gonna mean all that much to me. Okay? But since we`re in a hurry, I`ll made a deal with you: you throw down your camera and we won`t hurt you. You`ll never hear from us again. Okay?
Kevin McCallister: You promise?
Harry: I cross my heart and hope to die.

Harry: What store is going to make the most cash on Christmas eve that nobody`s gonna think to rob?
Marv: Candy stores!
Harry: Nine year olds rob candy stores, Marv. This is what I had in mind.
(shows him an ad for Duncan`s Toy Chest)
Marv: That`s brilliant, Harry. Brilliant.
Harry: Yep. There`s nobody dumb enough to knock off a toy store on Christmas eve.
Marv: Oh yes there is.
(Points to Harry, then points to self)

Marv: (stealing money from Duncan`s Toy Chest) This is more money than I can even count.
Harry: I don`t know why we wasted so much time robbing private homes.
Marv: (stuffing the bag with cash) The amazing thing is: we`re fugitives from the law, we`re up to our elbows in cash, and there`s nobody that even knows about it.
(Kevin taps on the window and waves)
Harry: He`s back!

Harry: Hey Marv, crow bars up.
(they clink their crow bars together)

Harry: (while Harry and Marv are robbing Duncan`s Toy Chest, Kevin takes their picture) He took our picture!
Marv: How`d my hair look?

Kate McCallister, Peter McCallister: (awakening late on morning of travel, again) We did it again! Aaah!

Kate McCallister: (counting passports) 11, 12, 13, 14... Where`s Kevin?
Kevin McCallister: (appearing in front seat) Forteen. It`s a good thing I have my own ticket just in case you guys try to ditch me.

Uncle Frank McCallister: I know I shouldn`t complain about a free trip, but geez you guys give the worst gol-darn wake up calls!

Buzz McCallister: Ladies and gentlemen of the jury... I`d like to apologize to my family for whatever displeasure I may have caused you...
Kevin McCallister: What?
Buzz McCallister: My prank was immature and ill-timed.
Uncle Frank McCallister: Immature or not, it was pretty gol-darn hilarious.
(laughs; everyone else glares)
Buzz McCallister: I`d also like to apologize to my brother. Kevin, I`m sorry.

Kevin McCallister: (staring at the Rockefellar Center tree) I know I don`t deserve a Christmas, even if I did do a good deed. I don`t want any presents. Instead, I want to take back every mean thing I ever said to my family. Even if they don`t take back the things they said to me. I don`t care. I love all of them... Including Buzz. I know it isn`t possible to see them all. Could I just see my mother? I`ll never want another thing as long as I live if I can just see my mother. I know I won`t see her tonight, but promise me I can see her again. Sometime. Any time. Even if it`s just once and only for a couple minutes. I just need to tell her I`m sorry.
Kate McCallister: Kevin?
Kevin McCallister: Mom?
(Turns back to the tree)
Kevin McCallister: Wow, that worked fast.

Mr. E.F. Duncan, Owner Duncan`s Toy Chest: You see that tree there? Well to show our appreciation for youtr generosity, I`m gonna let you select an object from that tree that you can take home with you.
Kevin McCallister: For free?
Mr. E.F. Duncan, Owner Duncan`s Toy Chest: Oh yes. May I make a suggestion? Take the Turtle Doves.
Kevin McCallister: I can have two?
Mr. E.F. Duncan, Owner Duncan`s Toy Chest: Well, two Turtle Doves. I`ll tell you what you do: you keep one, and you give the other one to a very special person. You see, Turtle Doves are a symbol of friendship and love. And as long as each of you has your Turtle Dove, you`ll be friends forever.
Kevin McCallister: Wow. I never knew that. I thought they were just part of a song.
Mr. E.F. Duncan, Owner Duncan`s Toy Chest: They are. And for that very special reason.

Uncle Frank McCallister: (as the others look at their motel in disgust) Didn`t look this bad on our honeymoon.

Streetwalker #1: (to Kevin) Hey, lookin` for someone to read you a bedtime story? Ha ha ha ha.

Kevin McCallister: Boy, it`s scary out there.
Cab Driver: (turns around to reveal his frightening face) Ain`t much better in here, kid.
(Kevin gasps in horror and flees the cab)

Harry: (hears a loud rumbling) What`s that sound?
(a tool chest bursts through the door, pinning Marv and Harry to the wall)
Marv: (congested) That was the sound of a tool chest falling down the stairs.
Harry: Oh.

Gangster Johnny on TV: You was here, last night too, wasn`t ya?
Mr. Hector, Hotel Concierge: Yes... sir, I was
Gangster Johnny on TV: You was here, and you was smoochin` wit my brother!
Mr. Hector, Hotel Concierge: (after a pause) I`m terribly sorry, sir, I`m afraid you`re mistaken.
Gangster Johnny on TV: Don`t gimme that! You`ve been smoochin` wit everybody! Snuffy. Al. Leo. Little Moe, with the gimpy leg. Cheeks. Boney Bob. Cliff.
Officer Cliff: (gasps) No!
(others stare at him in disguest)
Officer Cliff: It`s a lie!
Gangster Johnny on TV: I could go on forever, baby!

Gangster Johnny on TV: Get down on your knees and tell me you love me.
Mr. Hector, Hotel Concierge: Um, everybody... On your knees...
(after pause)
Mr. Hector, Hotel Concierge: I love you.
Gangster Johnny on TV: You gotta do better than that!
Mr. Hector, Hotel Concierge, Mrs. Stone, Desk Clerk, Cedrick the Bellman, Officer Cliff, Security Guard: I love you!

Marv: (looks up after falling through a huge hole in the floor) Whoa! What a hole!

Uncle Frank McCallister: Get outta here you nosey little pervet, or I`m gonna slap you silly!

(Marv has just had a brick dropped on his head from three stories up and is reeling on the sidewalk)
Harry: (holding up three fingers on one hand) Marv, how many fingers am I holding up?
Marv: Uh, hmmmmmm, eight?

Gangster Johnny on TV: Maybe I`m off my hinges, but I believe you. That`s why I`m gonna let you go. I`m gonna give you to the count of three to get your lousy, lyin`, low-down, four flushing carcass OUT my door! 1... 2...
(Fires Tommy gun, killing girl gangster)
Gangster Johnny on TV: 3. Merry Christmas, you filthy animal.
(fires again)
Gangster Johnny on TV: And a Happy New Year.
(Fires again)


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