Alice in Wonderland (1951) » Quotes


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Alice: (drinks from bottle) Mmm... tastes like cherry tart.
(shrinks down)
Alice: Gr*pefruit.
(shrinks down)
Alice: Pineapple.
(shrinks down)
Alice: Roast turkey.
(now at minimum size)
Alice: Goodness! What did I do?
Doorknob: You almost went out like a candle!
Alice: Why, look! I`m just the right size!
Doorknob: No use. I forgot to tell you. I`m locked!
Alice: Oh no!
Doorknob: But of course, you`ve got the key, so...
Alice: What key?
Doorknob: Now, don`t tell me you`ve left it up there!

(first lines)
Alice`s sister: (reading from a history book) ... leaders, and had been of late much accustomed to usurpation and conquest. Edwin and Morcar, the earls of Mercia and Northumbria, declared for him: and even Stigand... Alice.
(camera zooms out to show Alice sitting in a tree, playing with Dinah and some daisies)
Alice: Hmm? Oh, I`m listening.
Alice`s sister: And even Stigand, the archbishop of Canterbury, agreed to meet with William and offer him the crown. William`s conduct at first was moderate.
(Alice laughs as her daisies fall on her sister`s face)

Mad Hatter: (after "fixing" the White Rabbit`s watch) Two days slow, that`s what it is.

Alice: (turning down an offer for a cup of tea) I`m sorry, but I just haven`t the time!
March Hare: The time! The time! Who`s got the time!

Tweedle Dee, Tweedle Dum: (singing together) How do ya do and shake hands, shake hands, shake hands. How do ya do and shake hands and state your name and business.
(both spoken)
Tweedle Dee, Tweedle Dum: That`s manners!

(Alice reaches the door to escape from the mob)
Doorknob: (tries to open the door) D`oh! Still locked you know!
Alice: (in horror) But the queen! I simply must get out!
Doorknob: (chuckles) But you *are* outside.
Alice: What?
Doorknob: (opens his mouth) See for yourself.
(Alice sees through his mouth and sees herself asleep with Dinah also sleeping on her lap by a tree in a beautiful meadow)
Alice: Why - why that`s me! I`m asleep!
Queen of Hearts: (shout from a distance) Don`t let her get away! Off with her head!
Alice: (in terror, through the Doorknob`s mouth) Alice, wake up! Please, wake up, Alice!
Queen of Hearts: (comes closer with the other mob) Off with her head!
Alice: Alice! Please, wake up, Alice!
(as the mob draws nearer, the screen goes into multicolor until it shows Alice sleeping by the tree)
Alice: (voiceover) Alice! Alice! Alice!
Alice`s sister: (changes to her sister`s) Alice! Alice! Will you kindly pay attention and recite your lesson.

Alice: (after eating a mushroom) I`m tired of being only three inches high.
(suddenly grows out of control)
Alice: Yi-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi!

March Hare: Why don`t you start at the begining?
Mad Hatter: Yes and when you reach the end... Stop.

Queen of Hearts: (after the Queen of Hearts is hit in the head and covered in the table cloth) Someone`s head IS GOING TO ROLL FOR THIS!

King of Hearts: Rule 42: All persons more than a mile high must leave the court immediately.
Alice: I am not a mile high, and I`m not leaving.
Queen of Hearts: Sorry. Rule 42, you know.

Queen of Hearts: And who is this?
King of Hearts: Let me see, my dear. It`s certainly not a heart. Do you suppose it`s a club?

White Rabbit: Your Majesty, members of the jury, loyal subjects... and the King... the prisoner at the bar stands accused of enticing Her Majesty, the Queen of Hearts, into a game of croquet, thereby and with malice of forethought, molesting, tormenting, and otherwise annoying our beloved...
Queen of Hearts: Never mind all that! Get to the part where I lose my temper.
White Rabbit: ...thereby causing the Queen to lose her temper.

Orchid: To put it bluntly, a weed.

Alice: Of all the silly nonsense, this is the stupidest tea party I`ve ever been to in all my life.

Alice: Well, it all started when I was sitting on the river bank with Dinah.
March Hare: Very interesting - Who`s Dinah?
(Pants lasciviously)
Alice: Oh, Dinah`s my cat. You see...
Dormouse: Cat? CAT!

White Rabbit: Her Imperial Highness, Her Grace, Her Excelency, Her Royal Majesty, the Queen of Hearts!
(Crowd cheers)
White Rabbit: ... And the King.
Voice in crowd: Hooray!

Queen of Hearts: Now, where do you come from?
Alice: Well, I`m trying to find my way home...
Queen of Hearts: Your way? All ways here are my ways!
Alice: Yes, I know, but I was just thinking...
Queen of Hearts: Curtsy while you`re thinking. It saves time.
Alice: (curtsying) Yes, Your Majesty, but I just wanted to ask you...
Queen of Hearts: I`ll ask the questions! Do you play croquet?
Alice: Why, yes, Your Majesty.
Queen of Hearts: Then let the game begin!

Alice: (after the Warlus and the Carpenter) That was a very sad story.
Tweedle Dee: Aye, but there`s a moral to it.
Alice: Oh, a very good moral, if you happen to be an oyster.

Bird in the Tree: A serpent! Help! Help! Serpent! Serpeeent!
Alice: But please! Please!
Bird in the Tree: Off with you! Shoo! Shoo! Help! Serpent!
Alice: I`m not a serpent.
Bird in the Tree: You`re not? Then just what are you?
Alice: I`m just a little girl.
Bird in the Tree: Little? Little?
(laughs)
Alice: Well, I am... I mean, I was.
Bird in the Tree: And I suppose you don`t like eggs, either?
Alice: Yes, I like eggs, but...
Bird in the Tree: Aha! I knew it! I knew it! A serpent! Serpent! Serpeeeent!
Alice: Oh, for goodness sake!

(the Caterpillar has called a very frustrated Alice back so he can finish the conversation)
Alice: ...Well?
Caterpillar: ...Keep your temper.
Alice: Is that all?
Caterpillar: No. "Exaketededly" what is your problem?
Alice: Well its exak... exact... Its precisely this. I should like to be a little larger, sir.
Caterpillar: Why?
Alice: Well, after all, three inches is such a wretched height, and...
Caterpillar: (suddenly angry) I am "exaketededly" three inches high, and it is a very good height indeed!
Alice: But I`m not used to it. And you needn`t *shout*!

King of Hearts: What do you know about this unfortunate affair?
March Hare: Nothing.
Queen of Hearts: Nothing whatever?
March Hare: Nothing whatever!
Queen of Hearts: (shouts) That`s very important! Jury, write that down!

Cheshire Cat: (singing) `Twas brilig, and the slithy toves / Did gyre and gimble in the wabe: / All mimsy were the borogroves, / And the mome raths outgrabe.
Alice: Now where do you suppose...?
Cheshire Cat: Lose something?
Alice: (turns around to find just the Cat`s smile talking to her) Oh my! oh, no no, I was just... uh never mind.
Cheshire Cat: Oh, that`s quite all right. One moment please.
(two eyes drop down on top of the mouth and the full cat form appears)
Cheshire Cat: Second chorus.
(singing)
Cheshire Cat: `Twas brilig, and the slithy toves / Did gyre and gimble in the wabe
Alice: Why, why you`re a cat!
Cheshire Cat: A *Cheshire* Cat.
(starts to disappear)
Cheshire Cat: All mimsy were the borogroves...
Alice: Oh wait!
Cheshire Cat: (reappears) There you are! Third chorus...
Alice: Oh, no, no. I was just wondering if you could help me find my way.
Cheshire Cat: Well that depends on where you want to get to.
Alice: Oh, it really doesn`t matter, as long as...
Cheshire Cat: Then it really doesn`t matter which way you go.

Queen of Hearts: Now then, are you ready for your sentence?
Alice: But there has to be a verdict first.
Queen of Hearts: Sentence first! Verdict afterwards.
Alice: But that just isn`t the way.
Queen of Hearts: (shouting) All ways are...!
Alice: ...your ways, your Majesty.

Alice: (as a giant) And as for you, your majesty! Your majesty indeed! Why, you`re not a queen,
(shrinking)
Alice: You`re just a fat, pompous, bad tempered old ty...
(normal size)
Alice: tyrant...
Queen of Hearts: (giggles) And uh, just what were you saying, my dear?
Cheshire Cat: Why, she simply said that you`re a fat, pompous, bad tempered old tyrant!

Cheshire Cat: You know? We could make her *really* angry! Shall we try?
Alice: Oh, no, no!
Cheshire Cat: Oh, but it`s loads of fun!

Cheshire Cat: All ways here you see, are the QUEEN`S WAYS!
Alice: But I`ve never met any queen.
Cheshire Cat: You haven`t? You haVEN`T? Oh, but you must! She`ll be mad about you, simply mad!
Alice: How can I find her?
Cheshire Cat: Well, some go this way, some go that way. But as for me, myself, personally, I prefer the shortcut.

Alice: When I get home I shall write a book about this place... If I ever do get home.

Mad Hatter: Do you care for tea?
Alice: Why, yes. I`m very fond of tea.
March Hare: If you don`t care for tea, you could at least make polite conversation!

Alice: I was sitting on the riverbank with uh... with you know who...
Mad Hatter: I DO?
Alice: I mean my C-A-T.
Mad Hatter: Tea?
March Hare: (slices a tea cup in half) Just half a cup, if you don`t mind.

Caterpillar: By the way, I have a few more helpful hints. One side will make you grow taller...
Alice: One side of what?
Caterpillar: ...and the other side will make you grow shorter.
Alice: The other side of what?
Caterpillar: THE MUSHROOM, OF COURSE!

Caterpillar: Recite. Alice: Oh. Yes sir. How doth the little bumblebee improve each... Caterpillar: Stop. That is not spoken correctically. It goes: How doth the little crocodile improve his shining tail. And pour the waters of the Nile, on every golden scale. How cheerfully he seems to grin, how neatly spreads his claws. And welcomes little fishes in, with gently smiling jaws. Alice: Well, I must say, I`ve never heard it that way before. Caterpillar: I know. I have improoooved it.

Caterpillar: Who are you?

Alice: You can learn a lot of things from the flowers... Huh! Seems to me they could learn a few things about manners!

Dodo: (singing) We`ll blow the thing there out, we`ll smoke the monster out!

White Rabbit: Why, Mary Ann! What are you doing out here?
Alice: Mary Ann?
White Rabbit: Don`t just do something, stand there... Uh... no no! Go go! Go get my gloves! I`m late!
Alice: But late for what? That`s just what I...
White Rabbit: My gloves!
(Blows trumpet)
White Rabbit: At once, do you hear!
Alice: Goodness. I suppose I`ll be taking orders from Dinah next.

Alice: I simply must get through!
Doorknob: Sorry, you`re much too big. Simply impassible.
Alice: You mean impossible?
Doorknob: No, impassible. Nothing`s impossible.

Alice: Curiosity often leads to trouble.

Alice: In my world, the books would be nothing but pictures.

Mad Hatter: No wonder you`re late. Why, this watch is exactly two days slow.

Mad Hatter: Why is a raven like a writing desk?
Alice: Riddles? Now let me see... why is a raven like a writing desk?
Mad Hatter: I beg your pardon?
Alice: Why is a raven like a writing desk?
Mad Hatter: (alarmed) Why is a what?
March Hare: Careful, she`s stark ravin` mad!
Alice: But it`s your silly riddle. You just said...
Mad Hatter: Easy, don`t get excited!
March Hare: How about a nice cup of tea?
Alice: "Have a cup of tea," indeed! Well I`m sorry, but I just haven`t the time!

Caterpillar: Who... are... you?
Alice: Why, I hardly know, sir. I`ve changed so much since this morning, you see...
Caterpillar: No, I do not C, explain yourself.
Alice: I`m afraid I can`t explain myself, you see, because I`m not myself, you know.
Caterpillar: I do not know.
Alice: I can`t put it any more clearly, sir, because it isn`t clear to me.

Alice: Better read it first, for if one drinks much from a bottle marked "Poison", it`s almost certain to disagree with one sooner or later.

The Rose: Just what species or, shall we say, genus are you, my dear?
Alice: Well, I guess you would call me... genus, humanus... Alice.
Daisy: Ever see an alice with a blossom like that?
Orchid: Come to think of it, did you ever see an alice?
Daisy: Yes, and did you notice her petals? Such a peculiar color.
Orchid: And no fragrance.
Daisy: And just look at those stems.
The Rose: Rather scrawny, I`d say.
Bud: I think she`s pretty.
The Rose: Quiet, bud.

Bud: I think she`s pretty.
The Rose: Quiet, Bud.

Alice: Oh, but that`s nonsense. Flowers can`t talk.
The Rose: But of course we can talk, my dear.
Orchid: If there`s anyone around worth talking to.
Daisy: Or about.
(giggles)

(after they have restrained the Dormouse)
Mad Hatter: Ah thank goodness! Those are the things that upset me!
March Hare: See all the trouble you started?
Alice: But I didn`t think...
March Hare: Ah, that`s just it. If you don`t think, then you shouldn`t talk.

Queen of Hearts: I warn you dear child, if I lose my temper, you lose your head. Understand?

Mad Hatter: Clean cup, clean cup. Move down.

Alice: I`m sorry I interrupted your birthday party. Thank you.
March Hare: Birthday? My dear child, this is NOT a birthday party.
Mad Hatter: Of course not. This is an unbirthday party.

Mad Hatter: Oh yes mustard! That`ll do... Mustard? Don`t let`s be silly. Now lemon, that`s different...


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