Alice in Wonderland Quotes

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Quotations by Alice in Wonderland.

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Cheshire Cat: Oh, by the way, if you`d really like to know, he went that way.
Alice: Who did?
Cheshire Cat: The White Rabbit.
Alice: He did?
Cheshire Cat: He did what?
Alice: Went that way.
Cheshire Cat: Who did?
Alice: The White Rabbit.
Cheshire Cat: What rabbit?
Alice: But didn`t you just say - I mean - Oh, dear.
Cheshire Cat: Can you stand on your head?
Alice: Oh!

(Alice falls down the rabbit hole and her dress poofs up like a parachute)
Alice: Well, after this I should think nothing of falling down stairs.

White Rabbit: (singing) I`m late / I`m late / For a very important date. / No time to say "Hello." / Goodbye. / I`m late, I`m late, I`m late.

Alice: If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is because everything would be what it isn`t. And contrary-wise; what it is it wouldn`t be, and what it wouldn`t be, it would. You see?

Daisy: What kind of a garden do you come from?
Alice: Oh, I don`t come from any garden.
Daisy: Do you suppose she`s a wildflower?

Cheshire Cat: If I were looking for a white rabbit, I`d ask the Mad Hatter.
Alice: The Mad Hatter? Oh, no no no...
Cheshire Cat: Or, you could ask the March Hare, in that direction.
Alice: Oh, thank you. I think I`ll see him...
Cheshire Cat: Of course, he`s mad, too.
Alice: But I don`t want to go among mad people.
Cheshire Cat: Oh, you can`t help that. Most everyone`s mad here.
(laughs maniacally; starts to disappear)
Cheshire Cat: You may have noticed that I`m not all there myself.

Walrus: The time has come, my little friends, to talk of other things / Of shoes and ships and sealing wax, of cabbages and kings / And why the sea is boiling hot, and whether pigs have wigs / Calloo, Callay, come run away / With the cabbages and kings.

Doorknob: Read the directions and directly you will be directed in the right direction.

Alice: It would be so nice if something would make sense for a change.

March Hare: There`s only one way to stop a MAD WATCH.

March Hare: I have an excellent idea, LETS CHANGE THE SUBJECT.

Queen of Hearts: Off with their heads.

Queen of Hearts: Who`s been painting my roses red? WHO`S BEEN PAINTING MY ROSES RED? /Who dares to taint / With vulgar paint / The royal flower bed? / For painting my roses red / Someone will lose his head.
Card Painter: Oh please, your majesty, please! It`s all his fault!
Card Painter: Not me, your grace! The ace, the ace!
Queen of Hearts: You?
Card Painter: No, two!
Queen of Hearts: The two, you say?
Card Painter: Not me! The three!
Queen of Hearts: That`s enough! Off with their heads!

White Rabbit: We need a lazard with a liddle... a lad... can you help us?
Bill: At your service, gov`nor.
Dodo: Bill, my lad. Have you ever been down a chimney?
Bill: Why, gov`nor, I`ve been down more chimneys...
Dodo: Excellent, excellent. Now just hop down the chimney and pull that monster out of there.
Bill: Righto, gov`nor... Monster? Aaaaah!

Mad Hatter: Would you like a little more tea?
Alice: Well, I haven`t had any yet, so I can`t very well take more.
March Hare: Ah, you mean you can`t very well take less.
Mad Hatter: Yes. You can always take more than nothing.

Dodo: Ahoy, and other nautical expressions!

Doorknob: D`ooooh!
Alice: Oh! I beg your pardon...
Doorknob: Quite all right, but you did give me quite a turn.
Alice: You see, I was chasing this...
Doorknob: Rather good, what? Doorknob? Turn? Since one good turn deserves another, what can I do for you?

Dodo: I say, you`ll never get dry that way.
Alice: Get dry?
Dodo: Have to run with the others. First rule of a caucus race, you know.

Alice: Well, when I was lost, I suppose it`s good advice to stay where you are until someone finds you. But who`d ever think to look for me here?
(sigh)
Alice: Good advice. If I listened earlier, I wouldn`t be here. But that`s just the trouble with me. I give myself very good advice, but I very seldom follow it.

Tweedle Dum: If you think we`re waxworks, you ought to pay, you know.
Tweedle Dee: Contrarywise, if you think we`re alive you ought to speak to us.
Tweedle Dee, Tweedle Dum: That`s logic.

Dormouse: Twinkle twinkle, little bat / How I wonder what you`re at? / Up above the world you fly / Like a tea tray in the sky.

Alice: Oh, pooh. I`m not afraid of you. Why, you`re nothing but a pack of cards.

Alice: Unbirthday? I`m sorry, but I don`t quite understand.
March Hare: It`s very simple. Now, thirty days has Septem -No. wait... An unbirthday, if you have a birthday, then you -
(laughs)
March Hare: She doesn`t know what an unbirthday is.

Alice: Curiouser and curiouser.

Mad Hatter: Oh yes mustard! That`ll do... Mustard? Don`t let`s be silly. Now lemon, that`s different...

Alice: I`m sorry I interrupted your birthday party. Thank you.
March Hare: Birthday? My dear child, this is NOT a birthday party.
Mad Hatter: Of course not. This is an unbirthday party.

Mad Hatter: Clean cup, clean cup. Move down.

Queen of Hearts: I warn you dear child, if I lose my temper, you lose your head. Understand?

(after they have restrained the Dormouse)
Mad Hatter: Ah thank goodness! Those are the things that upset me!
March Hare: See all the trouble you started?
Alice: But I didn`t think...
March Hare: Ah, that`s just it. If you don`t think, then you shouldn`t talk.

Alice: Oh, but that`s nonsense. Flowers can`t talk.
The Rose: But of course we can talk, my dear.
Orchid: If there`s anyone around worth talking to.
Daisy: Or about.
(giggles)

Bud: I think she`s pretty.
The Rose: Quiet, Bud.

The Rose: Just what species or, shall we say, genus are you, my dear?
Alice: Well, I guess you would call me... genus, humanus... Alice.
Daisy: Ever see an alice with a blossom like that?
Orchid: Come to think of it, did you ever see an alice?
Daisy: Yes, and did you notice her petals? Such a peculiar color.
Orchid: And no fragrance.
Daisy: And just look at those stems.
The Rose: Rather scrawny, I`d say.
Bud: I think she`s pretty.
The Rose: Quiet, bud.

Alice: Better read it first, for if one drinks much from a bottle marked "Poison", it`s almost certain to disagree with one sooner or later.

Caterpillar: Who... are... you?
Alice: Why, I hardly know, sir. I`ve changed so much since this morning, you see...
Caterpillar: No, I do not C, explain yourself.
Alice: I`m afraid I can`t explain myself, you see, because I`m not myself, you know.
Caterpillar: I do not know.
Alice: I can`t put it any more clearly, sir, because it isn`t clear to me.

Mad Hatter: Why is a raven like a writing desk?
Alice: Riddles? Now let me see... why is a raven like a writing desk?
Mad Hatter: I beg your pardon?
Alice: Why is a raven like a writing desk?
Mad Hatter: (alarmed) Why is a what?
March Hare: Careful, she`s stark ravin` mad!
Alice: But it`s your silly riddle. You just said...
Mad Hatter: Easy, don`t get excited!
March Hare: How about a nice cup of tea?
Alice: "Have a cup of tea," indeed! Well I`m sorry, but I just haven`t the time!

Mad Hatter: No wonder you`re late. Why, this watch is exactly two days slow.

Alice: In my world, the books would be nothing but pictures.

Alice: Curiosity often leads to trouble.

Alice: I simply must get through!
Doorknob: Sorry, you`re much too big. Simply impassible.
Alice: You mean impossible?
Doorknob: No, impassible. Nothing`s impossible.

White Rabbit: Why, Mary Ann! What are you doing out here?
Alice: Mary Ann?
White Rabbit: Don`t just do something, stand there... Uh... no no! Go go! Go get my gloves! I`m late!
Alice: But late for what? That`s just what I...
White Rabbit: My gloves!
(Blows trumpet)
White Rabbit: At once, do you hear!
Alice: Goodness. I suppose I`ll be taking orders from Dinah next.

Dodo: (singing) We`ll blow the thing there out, we`ll smoke the monster out!

Alice: You can learn a lot of things from the flowers... Huh! Seems to me they could learn a few things about manners!

Caterpillar: Who are you?

Caterpillar: Recite. Alice: Oh. Yes sir. How doth the little bumblebee improve each... Caterpillar: Stop. That is not spoken correctically. It goes: How doth the little crocodile improve his shining tail. And pour the waters of the Nile, on every golden scale. How cheerfully he seems to grin, how neatly spreads his claws. And welcomes little fishes in, with gently smiling jaws. Alice: Well, I must say, I`ve never heard it that way before. Caterpillar: I know. I have improoooved it.

Caterpillar: By the way, I have a few more helpful hints. One side will make you grow taller...
Alice: One side of what?
Caterpillar: ...and the other side will make you grow shorter.
Alice: The other side of what?
Caterpillar: THE MUSHROOM, OF COURSE!

Alice: I was sitting on the riverbank with uh... with you know who...
Mad Hatter: I DO?
Alice: I mean my C-A-T.
Mad Hatter: Tea?
March Hare: (slices a tea cup in half) Just half a cup, if you don`t mind.

Mad Hatter: Do you care for tea?
Alice: Why, yes. I`m very fond of tea.
March Hare: If you don`t care for tea, you could at least make polite conversation!

Alice: When I get home I shall write a book about this place... If I ever do get home.

Cheshire Cat: All ways here you see, are the QUEEN`S WAYS!
Alice: But I`ve never met any queen.
Cheshire Cat: You haven`t? You haVEN`T? Oh, but you must! She`ll be mad about you, simply mad!
Alice: How can I find her?
Cheshire Cat: Well, some go this way, some go that way. But as for me, myself, personally, I prefer the shortcut.

Cheshire Cat: You know? We could make her *really* angry! Shall we try?
Alice: Oh, no, no!
Cheshire Cat: Oh, but it`s loads of fun!


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