Django Unchained Quotes

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Calvin Candie: I'm curious, what makes you such a mandingo expert?
Django: I'm curious what makes you so curious. (

Calvin Candie: How long was he lose?
Mr. Stonesipher: About, a day. Just the other night.
Calvin Candie: How far he get off of the property?
Mr. Stonesipher: About twenty miles off the prop. Pretty far considering that limp he's got though.
Calvin Candie: M-hmm. (

Dr. King Schultz: Let's just hope she works in the house, not in the field.
Django: Oh, no, she ain't no field nigger. She... She pretty. And she talk good, too. But when they tore her back up and then they... burned that runaway "r" on her cheek... they goddamned her. She ain't no field nigger but she ain't good enough for the house no more either . They gonna try to make her a comfort girl.
Dr. King Schultz: What's a comfort...? Oh. (

Calvin Candie: (to Django and Schultz) Gentlemen, you had my curiosity. But now you have my attention. (

Calvin Candie: (to Schultz) Come on over. We got us a fight going on that's a good bit of fun. (

Dr. King Schultz: (in disbelief) Let me get this straight: Your slave wife speaks German and her name is Broomhilda von Schaft?
Django: Yep. (

Dr. King Schultz: Auf wiedersehen. Bullseye. (

Big Daddy: (putting his bag/mask on) Damn. I can't see f**king sh*t out of this thing. (

Calvin Candie: (after selling Broomhilda to Django and Schultz) Mr. Moguy!
Leonide Moguy: Yes, Calvin?
Calvin Candie: You make this gentlemen a receipt for $12,000, please.
(Candie stands up and casually examines his cut hand)
Calvin Candie: It was a pleasure doing business with y'all.
Calvin Candie: Now gentlemen, if you care to join me in the parlor, we will be serving white cake... (

Dr. King Schultz: (toasting their business transaction) Prost!
Calvin Candie: (toasting in kind) ... German. (

Dr. King Schultz: I wish to parlez with you.
Dicky Speck: Speak English.
Dr. King Schultz: Oh, I'm sorry, please forgive me. it *is* a second language. (

Dr. King Schultz: And as if on cue, here comes the sheriff!
Sheriff Bill Sharp: (Comes in tavern) Okay, boys, fun's over! Come on out.
(Bill Sharp leads Schultz and Django outside while an anxious crowd watches)
Sheriff Bill Sharp: Alright folks, calm down! Go about your business. The jokers will be gone soon.
(Turns to Schultz and Django)
Sheriff Bill Sharp: Now, why do ya'll wanna come into my town and start trouble? And scare all of these nice people? You ain't got nothing better to do than to come into Bill Sharp's town and show your ass-!
(Dr. Schultz suddenly raises his derringer and shoots the sheriff in the stomach) (

Stephen: Hold your fire. Stop shooting, goddammit! (

Billy Crash: (Django shoots into Billy's balls. He screams in pain) Dee-jango, you black son of a b*tch!
Django: The D is silent, hillbilly...
(and kills him) (

Dr. King Schultz: You silver tongued devil, you. (

Calvin Candie: I think you are a bad loser.
Dr. King Schultz: And I think you're an abysmal winner (

Calvin Candie: Dr. Schultz, in Greenville, you yourself said that for the right nigger you'd be willing to pay what some may consider is a ridiculous amount. To which me myself said "What is your definition of ridiculous?" To which you said "$12,000." Now, considering y'all have ridden a whole lot of miles...
(Candie aggressively grabs Broomhilda's head, she whimpers as Django looks on intensively)
Calvin Candie: ... went through a whole lot of trouble...
(Candie continues holding Broomhilda's head, and starts rubbing her face)
Calvin Candie: ... and done spread a whole lot of bull to purchase this lovely lady right here, it would appear that Broomhilda is in fact the right nigger. And if y'all wanna leave Candyland with Broomhilda, the price... is $12,000.
Dr. King Schultz: And I take it you prefer the take it or leave it style of negotiation?
Calvin Candie: (Candie lets go of Broomhila's head) Yes, I do, Doctor. You see, under the laws of Chickasaw County, Broomhilda, here, is my property... and I can choose to do with MY PROPERTY... WHATEVER I SO DESIRE!
(Candie rubs his injured hand and smears the blood all over Broomhilda's face; she shrieks and moans in disgust and fear)
Calvin Candie: And if y'all think my price for this nigger here is too steep, what I'm gonna desire to do is...
(Candie causally sets his cigarette down; he suddenly but quickly picks up his hammer and violently grabs hold of Broomhilda's hair, slamming her face on the dinner table and raising the hammer above her head. Schultz jumps while Django rises up out of his seat)
Dr. King Schultz: (Screams back nervously) May I lift my hands off the table in order to remove my billfold?
Calvin Candie: YES, you may!
(Schultz quickly retrieves his wallet out of his pocket and tosses it on the table; Stephen grabs it and starts counting the money)
Stephen: (Nods to Calvin with the cash) That twelve.
(Candie greedily smiles as Stephen drops the cash in front of him)
Calvin Candie: (Lets go of Broomhilda's head and slams the hammer loudly on the table) SOLD... TO THE MAN WITH EXCEPTIONAL BEARD, AND HIS UNEXCEPTIONAL NIGGER! (

Dr. King Schultz: Now as to you poor devils. So as I see it, when it comes to the subject of what to do next, you gentlemen have two choices. One: once I'm gone, you could lift that beast off the remaining Speck, then carry him to the nearest town. Which would be at least 37 miles back the way you came. Or two: You could unshackle yourselves, take that rifle, put a bullet in his head, bury the two of them deep, and then make your way to a more enlightened area of this country. The choice is yours. Oh, and on the off chance there are any astronomy aficionados amongst you, the North Star is that one. Tata! (

Stephen: DJANGO! You uppity son of a b...
(Plantation blows up) (

Dr. King Schultz: How do you like the bounty hunting business?
Django: Kill white people and get paid for it? What's not to like? (

(first lines)
Dicky Speck: (c*cks rifle) Who's that stumblin' around in the dark? State your business or prepare to get winged! (

(repeated line)
Django: Hey, little troublemaker. (

Calvin Candie: (about Django) He is a rambunctious sort, ain't he? (

Django: Hey, white boy!
Django: I said, "hey, white boy!"
The LeQuint Dickey Mining Co. Employee: Shut up, black! You ain't got nothing to say I wanna hear!
Django: How would you like to make $11,000? (

Dr. King Schultz: (to slaves) And in the odd chance there are any Astronomy aficionados amongst you the North Star is... that one. (

Calvin Candie: (the library doors open revealing Calvin Candie, Stephen is sifting his brandy) What is the matter?
Stephen: (swirling his brandy glass, looks up) Them motherf**kers ain't here to buy no mandingos. They's here for that girl. (

Dr. King Schultz: Good morning, inn keeper. Two beers for two weary travelers!
Innkeeper: (while busy fixing a lamp bulb in the diner) Ah, it's still a bit early. We won't be open for another hour. By then, we'll be servin' breakfast-
(the innkeeper turns around and sees Schultz with Django; he gasps frantically)
Innkeeper: Whoa, whoa, WHOA, WHOA!
(to Django)
Innkeeper: What the hell you think you're doing, boy?
(to Schultz)
Innkeeper: Get that nigger outta here!
(the innkeeper is then shown running outside)
Innkeeper: Help! HELP!
Dr. King Schultz: (Schultz runs after him) Innkeeper... innkeeper! Remember, get the sheriff, not the marshal!
Innkeeper: (as he is running through the town) Sheriff! Help!
Dr. King Schultz: (Schultz returns to the inn and shrugs to Django) Alas! Now we must act as our own bartender. Sit down, my boy.
(Django sits at the table while Schultz goes to the bar to prepare two glasses of beer) (

Calvin Candie: White cake?
Dr. King Schultz: I don't go in for sweets, thank you.
Calvin Candie: Are you brooding 'bout me getting the best of ya, huh?
Dr. King Schultz: Actually, I was thinking of that poor devil you fed to the dogs today, D'Artagnan. And I was wondering what Dumas would make of all this.
Calvin Candie: Come again?
Dr. King Schultz: Alexander Dumas. He wrote "The Three Musketeers." I figured you must be an admirer. You named your slave after his novel's lead character. If Alexander Dumas had been there today, I wonder what he would have made of it?
Calvin Candie: You doubt he'd approve?
Dr. King Schultz: Yes. His approval would be a dubious proposition at best.
Calvin Candie: Soft hearted Frenchy?
Dr. King Schultz: Alexander Dumas was black. (

The LeQuint Dickey Mining Co. Employee: (to Django) You're alright for a black fella! (

Dicky Speck: (as Django walks over to Ace Speck's body to retrieve his coat) Nigger! Don't you touch my brother's coat!
(Django turns around and walks towards Dicky Speck; he angrily stomps on his shattered leg)
Dicky Speck: AHHH! GOD DAMN IT! OH! (

Calvin Candie: Your boss looks a little green around the gills.
Django: He just ain't used to seein' a man ripped apart by dogs is all.
Calvin Candie: But you are used to it?
Django: I'm just a little more used to Americans than he is. (

Calvin Candie: Hello. Stephen, my boy!
Stephen: (black house servant exiting the Big House) Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hello, my ass. Who dis nigger up on dat nag?
Calvin Candie: Aw, Stephen, you have nails for breakfast? What's the matter? Why you so ornery? You miss me? Huh?
Stephen: Oh, yes, sir. I miss you like a hawg miss slop. Like a baby miss mammy titty! I miss you like I misses a rock in my shoe! Now, I aks you, who dis nigger on dat nag?
Django: Hey, Snowball. You wanna know my name or the name of my horse, you ask me.
Stephen: Just who the hell you callin' 'Snowball,' hoss boy? I'll snatch yo black ass off dat nag down here in the mud so fast make yo head spin!
Calvin Candie: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Stephen! Stephen! Let's keep in funny. Django here's a freeman.
Stephen: Dis nigger here?
Calvin Candie: That nigger there. Let me at least introduce the two of you. Django, this is a another cheeky black bugger like yourself, Stephen. Stephen, this here is Django. You two oughta hate each other.
Stephen: Calvin, just who the hell is dis nigger you feel's the need to entertain?
Calvin Candie: Django, and his friend in gray here, Dr. Schultz, are customers. And they are our guests, Stephen. And you, you old, decrepit bastard, you are to show them every hospitality. You understand that?
Stephen: Yes, sir. Him I understands, but I don't know why I got to take lip off dis nigger.
Calvin Candie: You don't have to know why. Do you understand?
Stephen: Yes, sir. I understand.
Calvin Candie: Well, good. They're spending the night. Go open the guest bedrooms and get two ready.
Stephen: (mortified) He gawn stay in the Big House?
Calvin Candie: Stephen. He's a slaver. It's different.
Stephen: In the Big House?
Calvin Candie: Well, you got a problem with that?
Stephen: Aw, naw, naw. I ain't got no problem with it. If you ain't got no problem with burnin' the bed, the sheets, the pillowcase, and everything else when this black-ass motherf**ker's gone!
Calvin Candie: That is my problem! They are mine to burn! Now your problem right now is making a good impression! And I want you to start solving that problem right now and get them goddamn rooms ready!
Stephen: Yes, sir, Monsieur Candie.
Calvin Candie: Go on, now.
Stephen: Cain't believe you brought a nigger to stay in the Big House. Yo daddy's rollin' over in his goddamn grave, right now. Brought a nigger to stay with us. What kinda sh*t is that?
Calvin Candie: Man, the lip on him! Whoo! He's getting worse and worse. Now, WHERE IS MY BEAUTIFUL SISTER? (

Dr. King Schultz: Who is your little friend?
Calvin Candie: This is Ben. He's a old Joe that lived around here for a long time. And I do mean a long damn time. Well Ben here took care of my daddy and my daddy's daddy, till he up and keeled over one day. Old Ben took care of me. Growing up the son of a huge plantation owner in Mississippi puts a white man in contact with a whole lot of black faces. I spent my whole life here right here in Candyland, surrounded by black faces. And seeing them every day, day in day out, I only had one question. Why don't they kill us? Now right out there on that porch three times a week for fifty years, old Ben here would shave my daddy with a straight razor. Now if I was old Ben, I would have cut my daddy's goddamn throat, and it wouldn't have taken me no fifty years to do it neither. But he never did. Why not? You see, the science of phrenology is crucial to understanding the separation about two species. In the skull of the African here, the area associated with submissiveness is larger than any human or other sub-human species on planet Earth. If you examine this piece of skull here, you'll notice three distinct dimples. Here, here and here. Now if I was holding a skull of a... of an Isaac Newton or Galileo, these three dimples would be in the area of the skull most associated with creativity. But this is the skull of old Ben, and in the skull of old Ben unburdened by genius, these three dimples exist in the area of the skull most associated with servility. Now bright boy, I will admit you are pretty clever. But if I took this hammer here and I bashed it in your skull, you would have the same three dimples in the same place as old Ben. Hey! Now lay your palms flat on the table top! If you lift those palms off that turtle shell table top, Mr. Pooch is gonna let loose with both barrels of that sawed off! There have been a lot of lies said around this dinner table here tonight, but that you can believe! (

Dr. King Schultz: Our mutual friend has a flair for the dramatic. (

Dr. King Schultz: Oh, Monsiuer Candie, you can't imagine what it's like not to hear your mother tongue in four years.
Calvin Candie: Well hell, I can't imagine two weeks in Boston!
Stephen: (Stephen laughs out loud) "Two weeks in Boston!" Monsiuer Candie, you a mess! (

Calvin Candie: (to Stephen) Stephen, when you get through showing them to their rooms, go fetch Hildi. Get her cleaned up and smellin' real nice and send her over to Dr. Schultz's room.
Stephen: (laughing) Actually, Monsieur Candie sir, there's something I ain't told you about yet.
Calvin Candie: What?
Stephen: Uh, Hildi 'in the hot box.
Calvin Candie: Well what's she doin' there?
Stephen: What you think she doin' there, in the hot box? She been punished!
Calvin Candie: Well what did she do?
Stephen: She run off again.
Calvin Candie: Jesus Christ, Stephen! How many people run away while I was gone?
Stephen: Two.
Calvin Candie: Well when did she go?
Stephen: Last night. They brung her back this morning.
Calvin Candie: How long she been in the box?
Stephen: How long you think she been in there? All damn day! And the little b*tch got ten more days to be in there.
Calvin Candie: Take her out.
Stephen: Take her out? Why?
Calvin Candie: Because I said so, that's why! Dr. Schultz is my guest. Hildi is my nigger. Southern hospitality dictates I make her available to him.
Stephen: But Monsieur Candie, she run off.
Calvin Candie: Christ, Stephen! What is the point of having a nigger that speaks German if you can't wheel 'em out when you have a German guest? Now I realize it is an inconvenience! Still, you take her ass out.
Stephen: Yes sir.
(to the Overseers)
Stephen: Ya'll done heard the man! Get her ass up outta there! Go! Get her over there and get her cleaned up and bring her back over here to, uh, Doctor -
(to Schultz)
Stephen: What did you say your name was? Shoots?
Dr. King Schultz: "Schultz."
Stephen: Schultz. (

Calvin Candie: Django, and his friend in gray here, Dr. Schultz, are customers. And they are our guests, Stephen, and you, you old decrepit bastard are to show them every hospitality. You understand that? (

Dr. King Schultz: Do most slaves believe in marriage?
Django: Oh, me and wife did. Old Man Carrucan didn't. That's why we, uh, we run off.
Old Man Carrucan: (During Django's flashback when he was a slave on the Carrucan plantation) Django... Django... Django... You got sand, Django. Boy's got sand! I got no use for a nigger with sand.
(Django, with a metal collar around his neck and face, looks on)
Old Man Carrucan: I want you to burn a runaway "R" right here on his cheek, and the girl, too.
(Django groans)
Old Man Carrucan: And I want you to take them to the Greenville auction and sell them. Both of them... separately.
(Django looks at Old Man Carrucan with rage)
Old Man Carrucan: And this one... you will sell him cheap! (

(last lines)
Django: Let's get out of here. (

Dr. King Schultz: (aiming .45-70 rifle at fleeing Ellis Brittle) You sure that's him?
Django: Yeah.
Dr. King Schultz: Positive?
Django: I don't know.
Dr. King Schultz: You don't know if you're positive?
Django: I don't know what 'positive' means.
Dr. King Schultz: It means you're sure.
Django: Yes.
Dr. King Schultz: Yes, what?
Django: Yes, I'm sure that's Ellis Brittle.
(Schultz shoots Brittle off his horse)
Django: I'm positive he dead. (

Django: (bursts into a room of runaway slave catchers, guns drawn) D'Artagnan, motherf**kers! (

Big John Brittle: (preparing to whip Little Jody) And the Lord said "The fear of ye, and the dread of ye, shall be on every beast of the Earth." (

Django: D'Artagnan, motherf**kers! (

Dr. King Schultz: Well, Broomhilda was a princess. She was a daughter of Wotan, god of all gods. Anyways, Her father is really mad at her.
Django: What she do?
Dr. King Schultz: I can't exactly remember. She disobeys him in some way. So he puts her on top of the mountain.
Django: Broomhilda's on a mountain?
Dr. King Schultz: It's a German legend, there's always going to be a mountain in there somewhere. And he puts a fire-breathing dragon there to guard the mountain. And he surrounds her in a circle of hellfire. And there, Broomhilda shall remain. Unless a hero arises brave enough to save her.
Django: Does a fella arise?
Dr. King Schultz: Yes, Django, as a matter of fact, he does. A fella named Siegfried.
Django: Does Siegfried save her?
Dr. King Schultz: (Nods) Quiet spectacularly so. He scales the mountain, because he's not afraid of it. He slays the dragon, because he's not afraid of him. And he walks through hellfire... because Broomhilda's worth it.
Django: I know how he feel. (

Django: (while whipping Roger Brittle) Keep it funny! (

Big Daddy: Uh, Betina?
Betina: Yes sir, Big Daddy?
Big Daddy: Uh...
(to Schultz)
Big Daddy: What's your Jimmie's name again?
Dr. King Schultz: Django.
Big Daddy: Django!
(to Betina)
Big Daddy: Betina, sugar, could you take Django there and take him around the grounds here and show him all the pretty stuff?
Betina: As you please, Big Daddy!
Dr. King Schultz: Oh, Mr. Bennett, I must remind you, Django is a free man. He cannot be treated like a slave. He... within the boundaries of good taste, he must be treated as an extension of myself.
Big Daddy: Understood. Betina, sugar?
Betina: Yes?
Big Daddy: Django isn't a slave. Django is a free man. You understand?
(Betina pauses)
Big Daddy: You can't treat him like any of the other niggers around here, 'cause he ain't like any of the other nigger around here. Ya got it?
Betina: You mean, you want me to actually treat him like white folks?
Big Daddy: No, that's not what I said!
Betina: Then I don't know what you want, Big Daddy!
Big Daddy: Yes, I can see that. Uh, what's the name of that peckerwood boy from town that works with the glass? His momma work at the lumberyard...
Big Daddy's Mammy: Oh, you mean Jerry?
Big Daddy: That's the boy's name, Jerry!
(to Betina)
Big Daddy: You know Jerry, don't ya, sugar?
Betina: Yes, Big Daddy.
Big Daddy: Well, that's it then! Just treat him like you would Jerry! (

Dr. King Schultz: (Turns to the four remaining slaves) Now, as to you poor devils. So as I see it, when it comes to the subject of what to do next, you gentlemen have two choices. One: once I'm gone, you could lift that beast off the remaining Speck, then carry him to the nearest town; which would be at least 37 miles back the way you came. Or two: you could unshackle yourselves, take that rifle, put a bullet in his head, bury the two of them deep, and then make your way to a more enlightened area of this country. The choice is yours.
(Starts to ride off but stops to talk to the slaves again)
Dr. King Schultz: Oh! And on the off chance there are any astronomy aficionados amongst you, the North Star is that one. Tata!
(Dr. Shultz rides away with his horse and wagon; Django follows him on horseback but keeps watch of what the four other slaves do to Dicky Speck)
Dicky Speck: (the slaves watch both Shultz and Django walk away and all turn to Dicky Speck, who is lying on the ground wounded) Now, wait a minute, fellas! Let's talk about this!
(the black men start approaching him aggressively. One of the men drops the lantern; the slaves each take off their blankets and a couple of them pick up sticks)
Dicky Speck: You gotta be reasonable in a situation like this!
(the slaves continue walking towards him, not saying a word. The man on the far right holds a rifle. Django watches and observes all of this)
Dicky Speck: I'm not a bad guy, I'm just doing my job! Blueberry, didn't I give you my last apple? Tell you what, boys, take me to the doc in El Paso, and I'll get you your freedom.
(We hear the rifle c*cking)
Dicky Speck: No... wait!
(the slaves shoot and kill Dicky Speck) (

Calvin Candie: (shouting) Where is my beautiful sister? (

Dr. King Schultz: Anything else about Mr Candie I should know about before I meet him?
Leonide Moguy: Yes, he is a bit of a francophile. Well, what civilized people aren't? And he prefers Monsieur Candie to Mr Candie.
Dr. King Schultz: Si c'est cela qu'il préfère.
(Whatever he prefers)
Dr. King Schultz: .
Leonide Moguy: He doesn't speak French. Don't speak French to him, it'll embarrass him. (

Django: (Politely and gentleman-like) Cora, before you go, will you tell Miss Lara "goodbye"?
Cora: (Quietly) Do what now?
Django: I said, "Tell Miss Lara, goodbye!"
Cora: Bye, Miss Lara!
Django: (Django quickly shoots Miss Lara, who is comically blown away in another room) Ya'll two run along now!
(Cora and Sheeba frantically run out of the house) (

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