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Robert Benchley Quotes

Quotes by Robert Benchley. Recent sayings by Robert Benchley. Robert Benchley famous lines.

"Drawing on my fine command of language, I said nothing."

"Tell us your phobias, and we`ll tell you what you are afraid of."

"Every boy should have a dog, for a dog teaches a boy three valuable traits: fidelity, perseverance and to turn around three times before lying down."

"In America there are two classes of travel - First Class, and with children. Travelling with children corresponds roughly to travelling third class in Bulgaria."

"In Milwaukee last month a man died laughing over one of his own jokes. That`s what makes it so tough for us outsiders: we have to fight home competition."

"There is no such place as Budapest. Perhaps you are thinking of Bucharest,...and there is no such place as Bucharest, either."

"It took me fifteen years to discover that I had no talent for writing, but I couldn`t give it up because by that time I was too famous."

"Drinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools to begin with, that it`s compounding a felony."

"The only real cure for a hangover is death."

A boy can learn a lot from a dog: obedience, loyalty, and the importance of turning around three times before lying down.

There are two kinds of people in the world, those who believe there are two kinds of people in the world and those who don`t.

Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people.

I can`t bring myself to say, `Well, I guess I`ll be toddling along.` It isn`t that I can`t toddle. It`s just that I can`t guess I`ll toddle.

As for me, except for an occasional heart attack, I feel as young as I ever did.

Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn`t the work he is supposed to be doing at the moment.

Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing.

The surest way to make a monkey of a man is to quote him.

An ardent supporter of the hometown team should go to a game prepared to take offense, no matter what happens.

I have tried to know absolutely nothing about a great many things, and I have succeeded fairly well.

Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing.


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