It`s a cosmic joke that I`m a lesbian, because I understand men so well but women are a complete mystery to me.
No one has the responsibility to be out to anyone but himself or herself. I made my choice a million years ago.
Straight girls like me. They flirt with me to get whatever they want. Of course it works.
I tend to like very b*tchy women. I find myself most attracted to smart, sarcastic, b*tchy women.
As a standup, I try to change the world. As an entertainer, I try to entertain. And as a lesbian, I try to pick up the prettiest girl in the room.
A woman will allow herself to be clouded by her emotions. Her reasonable thought becomes completely unreasonable over the most ridiculous thing. It`s a girl thing.
I can`t discriminate? Oh, that`s ripe, coming from a straight white man. What`s the matter, baby doesn`t feel like he belongs? Well why don`t you try a place that was set up just for you? Like the world!
What do you mean you don`t believe in homosexuality? It`s not like the Easter Bunny, your belief isn`t necessary.