John Mayer » Quotes

Quotations by John Mayer.

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(on Justin Timberlake): He’s bringing sexy back; I’m bringing sweaty back.

They say stay in the lines, but theres always something better on the other side.

The night I was recognized for `Daughters` at the Grammys was the night this record started. I knew I had bought the time to learn everything I needed before I started this one. Continuum is not a shot in the dark, it`s not a guesstimation. This is the first endeavor in my entire life, music or otherwise, that I did not cop out for a second on.

(His worry about meeting the perfect woman) My fear is that I go up to the girl of my dreams and say "I`m sorry, but I`ve got to say hello to you", and she slides the stool back and gets up and walks away, saying, "Not for me, Bub. I don`t want anything to do with you".

I`m having the time of my life figuring out this next move.

Life is like a box of crayons. Most people are the 8-color boxes, but what you`re really looking for are the 64-color boxes with the sharpeners on the back. I fancy myself to be a 64-color box, though I`ve got a few missing. It`s ok though, because I`ve got some more vibrant colors like periwinkle at my disposal. I have a bit of a problem though in that I can only meet the 8-color boxes. Does anyone else have that problem? I mean there are so many different colors of life, of feeling, of articulation.. so when I meet someone who`s an 8-color type.. I`m like, "hey girl, magenta!" and she`s like, "oh, you mean purple!" and she goes off on her purple thing, and I`m like, "no - I want magenta!"

Connecticut`s where I built the parts, Boston`s where I assembled them, and Atlanta is where I sold them to people.

I`d like to think the best of me was still hiding up in my sleeve.

I`m not as surprised in going from playing 1,000 seats to 4,000 seats as I was from 100 to 500 seats.

I`m getting to a point where everything is becoming streamlined in my life. I`m learning how to stand onstage for two hours and play in front of thousands of people as if I am completely in the moment every moment.

Everybody is just a stranger, but that`s the danger in going my own way.

People want to see musicians sing things that come from their own mind and own heart in real time, responding to the moment for them.

I don`t mind making sissy rock... I`ll rock your ass sensitive-style

I`m singing what I want to sing based on the emotion of what that day feels like. That`s what comes out of my mouth and guitar. That impacts people. They know anything can happen.

I like giving people something they don`t want to miss the next time. It`s a show with little twists and turns and curves. It has me being silly and stupid and compassionate and completely deep.

High School is like a spork: it`s a crappy spoon and a crappy fork, so in the end it`s just plain useless.

I feel strikingly domestic. We`re in our own world with two busses and trucks.

I feel my shows are like a late-night talk show that we settle down and do every night.

Love is a hot shower where your skin never prunes.

I am beginning to know what it feels like to be a woman. To have people looking at you all the time. And I`m sorry ladies, I had no idea! But people are looking at me all the time. It`s like I have musical boobies!

About the xBox game `Halo`: "I`m good. I`m fierce. And I`m not some gaming overachiever. I just have a skill. I was born to kill bionically augmented men."

It`s almost charity work, what people have done, turning other people on to my music.

I need some kind of emotional stake in it to write my lyrics, assuming that place. It might just be an emotion I understand but am not currently experiencing necessarily.

Numb is the new deep, done with the old me, and talk is the same cheap it`s been.

I`m not really good at keeping my own secrets. I can keep other people`s secrets pretty well. Unless they`re really good and people deserve to hear them. And I`ll disseminate the information accordingly.

High school is like a spork: its a crappy spoon AND a crappy fork, so in the end, its just plain useless.

I hope that what it comes down to at the end of the day is that people believe that I believe what I`m singing. It comes down to being believable. You don`t have to be likeable; generally, though, I think I am.

Sometimes I wish that I was the weather, you`d bring me up in conversation forever. And when it rained, I`d be the talk of the day.

(As he ties his shoe onstage) "It`s very difficult to tie one shoe with the same tension as the other one, because if one should be a little tighter than the other, the show`s gonna s*ck. I`m a man of symmetry."

I`ve always said I`ve got the coolest fans, and I brag about you like grandchildren when I talk to other artists

(crowd cheers) "That was a good response and I`m not going to ask you to do it again. There`s nothing I hate more than going to a concert and the guy says `You having a good time?` and you scream your head off and then the guy says `I can`t hear you!` and I`m like `The f**k you can`t!` I absolutely hate it when guys do that. So I promise you I`ll never make you do that. If you scream respectably the first time anyway."

I love coconut, because when you think you`re done eating coconut, 25 minutes later, a little piece of coconut comes out of the back of your mouth, and then you say, Hey! It`s more coconut!" I think any food with that kind of determination needs a little respect."

Ladies, if you want to know the way to my heart...good spelling and good grammar, good punctuation, capitalize only where you are supposed to capitalize, it`s done.

I love you all so much. We really need to come up with a new name for `fans`. How about really good friends who can`t come over my house.

So we`ve got one more song to play for you tonight...(crowd grumbles)...what, you know there`s an encore too. The encore is sort of like the condom in the pocket: everybody knows it`s there but nobody talks about it.

Hopefully people can see my music is tethered to my brain.

It is too easy to watch music coming out of people`s mouths lately and you`re not quite sure if it was written with the best of intentions.

I`ve realized you can use a fork as a spoon if you use it rapidly enough.

I get recognized somewhere in between like local meteorologist and national meteorologist

I think people right now, the age they are, being 21 and 22, really do want to find a group of bands they can take with them through life.

If you get half a million, at a certain stage you probably will get 4 million people, if they are able to hear it. The touring thing is unbelievable. It really is amazing from what we did the last tour even to what we are doing now.

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John Mayer

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