Brooke Meyers: It’s sock, you ***hole!
Brooke Meyers: I think you’re just a little embarrassed that Richard kicked your ass. (anistoncenter.com)
Friends with Money
Olivia: I’m a... maid. What?
Mike: You’re... you’re really a maid?
Mike: Can I... watch?
Lucinda Harris: You’re kinda funny, aren’t you?
Lucinda Harris: Kiss me.
Lucinda Harris: He threatened he’ll take my daughter.
Lucinda Harris: Some people just don’t know how to appreciate what they’ve got.
Rumor Has It...
Sarah: You’re not even the most screwed-up person in this room!
Sarah: I didn’t come here to tell you that I can’t live without you. I can live without you. I just don’t want to.
Sarah: Maybe every girl in my family have to sleep with you (anistoncenter.com)
Grace: You still have to go over there, the nurse is waiting.
Bruce: Oh, do I have to?
Grace: Oh, it’s not going to hurt. In fact I think you might find it quite pleasurable.
Grace: It’s weird. I woke up this morning and I swear my boobs felt bigger. Do they look bigger to you?
Grace: Debbie won the lottery. (...) But I guess so did 400,000 other people, so she only won, like, $17.
Grace: You know that everything happens for a reason.
Grace: Bruce, you promised that you would help me with this photo album. Now, you get your goofy butt over here!
Grace: Oh, no, no, no. Honey, no, no. Oh gosh, please don’t put that in your mouth. We don’t eat that. Oh, that’s not food. Oh, go to the bathroom, please. Wash out your mouth. Wash off your hands. God, I swear that kid is gonna poop an ornament.
Along Came Polly
(not on the DVD nor in the theatrical version) Polly Prince: You wanna come upstairs and have sex? (...) I’m kidding!
Polly Prince: I’ve been living my life, okay? I’ve been in good relationships and I’ve been in sh*tty ones... and I’ve moved alot... and I’ve been happy, and I’ve been sad... and I’ve been lonely... and that is what I’ve been doing. Which is a lot more then I can say for some freak, who thinks he’s gonna get the Ebola virus from a bowl of mixed nuts.
Polly Prince: That’s not a rat, that’s my ferret.
Polly Prince: Well, big deal, Reuben, my dad had a whole second family! (...) Yeah, on Long Island. He had a wife, and kids, and a golden retriever! (anistoncenter.com)
The Good Girl
Justine: After living in the dark for so long, a glimpse of the light can make you giddy. Strange thoughts come into your head and you better think’em. Has a special fate been calling you and you not listening? Is there a secret message right in front of you and you’re not reading it? Is this your last, best chance? Are you gonna take it? Or are you going to the grave with unlived lives in your veins?
Justine: As a girl you see the world as a giant candy store filled with sweet candy and such. But one day you look around and you see a prison and you’re on death row. You wanna run or scream or cry but something’s locking you up. Are the other folks cows chewing cud until the hour comes when their heads roll? Or are they just keeping quiet like you, planning their escape.
Justine: Like sitting on my couch with your big blue ass. Everything just turns to sh*t. You finally get nice things, then everything just gets messed up.
Justine: I went to the doctor. He says I’m fertile. He says I could repopulate the entire planet.
Justine: I hate everyone here. I hate Gwen. I don’t know what the hell she’s so happy about. I’m sorry I don’t understand why maniacs get shotguns and shoot everybody to pieces.
Justine: Is this your last best chance? Or are you going to your grave with unlived lives in your veins?
Justine: How it all came down to this, only the Devil knows. Retail Rodeo is at the corner on my left. The motel is down the road to my right. I close my eyes and try to peer into the future. On my left, I saw days upon days of lipstick and ticking clocks, dirty looks and quiet whisperings. And burning secrets that just won’t ever die away. And on my right, what could I picture? The blue sky, the desert earth, stretching out into the eerie infinity. A beautiful never-ending nothing.
Justine: That day I read the story Holden had wrote for me. It was kinda different from the other ones but kinda the same. It was about a girl who was put upon, whose job is like a prison, and whose life has lost all meaning. Other people don’t get her, especially her husband. One day she meets a boy who is also put upon and they fall in love. After spending their whole lives never getting got, with one look they get each other completely. In the end the girl and the boy run away together into the wilderness, never to be heard from again.
Justine: Holden gave me two of his stories to read. It was more like the story of what a story would be. It was about a boy who was put upon; whose mother is cold and selfish and whose father wanted him to play football. Other people didn’t get him. Especiall girls. Soon enough the boy comes to believe that no one can ever really know him. He starts acting out, drinking and taking all kinds of drugs. At the end the boy kills himself by jumping over a bridge. The second story was pretty much the same as the first expect at the end the boy kills himself by drinking a bottle of bug poison. (anistoncenter.com)
Emily: Oh no no... I could make you a pair of those. But first you gotta tell me what you shove in there to make people think you’re a guy.
Emily: Rob, I’m a business woman, and rule number one in this business is you go where the talent is... and all the f**king talent that was in this band has just left the room! (anistoncenter.com)
The Iron Giant (voice)
Annie Hughes: Strange. He’s so tight-lipped now, and yesterday he wouldn’t stop talking. I mean, hundred-foot robots and whatnot.
Annie Hughes: (to other waitress in background) So, he wants us to hold the mustard and the mayo. How about just hold the flavor altogether?
Annie Hughes: Hogarth, we’ve got to rent a room this year if we’re gonna make ends meet, and no one wants to live in a place with shredded upholstery.
Hogarth Hughes: You’ll never know he’s there. I’ll keep him in a cage...
Annie Hughes: ...until you feel sorry for him and set him free in the house. You remember the raccoon, Hogarth?
(Shudders) Annie Hughes: Oooooh! I remember the raccoon.
Joanna: How dare you judge me? Look at you. You’re just some penny-stealing... criminal... man.
Joanna: Why don’t you call me when you grow up! Wait a minute, that will never happen, so why don’t you just not call me, yeah...
Joanna: You know what, Stan, if you want me to wear 37 pieces of flair, like your pretty boy over there Bryan, why don’t you make the minimum 37 pieces of flair?
Stan, Chotchkie’s Manager: Well, I thought I remembered you saying that you wanted to express yourself.
Joanna: You know what, I do want to express myself, okay. And I don’t need 37 pieces of flair to do it.
(flips off Stan) (anistoncenter.com)
The Object of My Affection
Nina: Don’t open the door for any gas men. Unless you think either one of us would be interested.
Nina: I like guys a lot, but I’m not going to waste my time with some guy that doesn’t see things the way I do... I mean do you really need this guy?
Nina: I want you to be with me, I want you to marry me, I want you to love me the way that I love you.
Nina: You don’t tell a woman that you love her and then two days later bring Romeo over to sleep with him.
Nina: You have to pick one person and make it work.
Nina: Freud didn’t know dick about women.
Rodney Fraser: Have you noticed that you’re the only practicing heterosexual at your Thanksgiving dinner?
Nina Borowski: I haven’t practiced for a while.
Nina: I want to look at you and not feel so hurt by you.
Nina: Head up young person.
Kate Mosley: I can be a “bad” girl for you Sam.
Kate Mosley: We had sex mommy! The really dirty kind!
Kate Mosley: Sam, you’re always going to be the guy at the restaurant, who, when he gets what he ordered, decides he wants what the other guy has instead.
Rita Mosely: I want a grandchild.
Kate Mosley: Well, Ma, you’ll be happy to know that I am looking into having some eggs frozen.
Rita Mosely: Wonderful. I can tell everyone I’m having a grandsicle.
Kate Mosley: I like men, men like me... but then somewhere in the last year or so, I’ve just gotten so screwed up.
Kate Mosley: I don’t want to date you, I don’t want to marry you, I don’t want to have kids with you, I just want to break up with you. (anistoncenter.com)
She’s the One
Renee Fitzpatrick: Francis, I cannot remember the last time I saw your penis.
Tory: That thing is a leprechaun and we’ve got to figure out how to stop it!
Tory: Nathan, that was no f**king bear.
People’s Choice Award, January 9, 2007
- “Woo! Man, I tell ya, lucky thing we did wear underwear, huh? Er... wow, hi! First of all, you know, thank you for loving The Break-Up – I did. (audience laughs hard at the unintended pun and Jennifer giggles, too) No... it was... truly just a fantastic experience and an amazing cast. And dear friend and fantastic co-star Vince Vaughn who’s so funny and talented. Peyton Reed. And I just, you know... You all have supported me since the days of Friends and just through – this is heavy (referring to the award) – just, you know, through all of it – the good work, bad work and the ugly. I just thank you for continually inviting me back, so thank you and I love you, thanks.”
- “Oh my God! Wow! Thank you! I... I... don’t... well... oh boy! I just have to say thank you, from the bottom of my heart. This has been the greatest nine years of my entire life. To work with this cast, who make me better everyday, who inspire me everyday. Our writers, the most brilliant writers in television, and I wouldn’t be here, any of us would not be here without you guys. Marta, David and Kevin and our crew and Inger and craft services and my family, my dear friends who I love so much and who keep me grounded, and my husband, I love you so much! Thank you! Thank you very much!”
Golden Globe Award
- “Oh my Gosh, I barely just got here. Jeez. Oh my Lord, I never expected this to happen. Thank you, Hollywood Foreign Press. Thank you. Wow, this is surreal. Er, okay, I have to thank these five people: Matthew Perry, David Schwimmer, Lisa Kudrow, Courteney Cox, Matt LeBlanc. I love you guys. You started out as my colleagues, and you’re my friends and my family. This wouldn’t even be happening if it wasn’t for what I learned from you guys every day. And, er, Warner Brothers, of course, and Martha and David and Kevin, our brilliant writers who just don’t ever stop being brilliant and I can’t believe this. That’s – I just thank you, from the bottom of my heart. I love my job and thank you. Thank you.” (anistoncenter.com)
“If you keep your eyes open and watch, it’s your choice whether or not to learn. You can’t help but see the process.” (anistoncenter.com)
“They say there’s certain time of the night or the morning when you’re more open to receiving information – if there is information to be received – if you’re one of those New Agers who believe that stuff, which I’ve been known to do. I love that stuff.”
“After feeling sick and not really doing anything, going back into yoga, your muscles come back and you feel strong. Inner strength. I love it.”
“Mexican food is a brilliant indulgence.” (How does she wash it down?) “I love margaritas, martinis and cold, cold beer.”
“I’ve never been able to do that Zen kind of thing with a hundred sweaty people in the room, I’d rather meditate on my own.”
“I love the sun, I love the sand, I love the water.”
- “I don’t get sent anything strange like underwear. I get sent cookies.”
“You can’t start something privately, you can’t break up privately, you can’t lose a parent privately—those are all the little thorns that come along with this beautiful rose. You kind of get a prick now and again.” (anistoncenter.com)
“I remember seeing ‘She’s The One’ for the first time. I was like, ‘I should not be on a screen that big. It doesn’t work.’”
“I’m not taking the Hollywood thing too seriously because we’ve all seen this business chew people up and spit them out. I think I’ve learned from my family and friends that this is something I want to do, and do well. There’s so much more to learn. It’s very bizarre to be in this position. You almost feel like you haven’t earned this yet. I want to wait until I get to a place where I can say, ‘Now I deserve all this’. That will happen. But you have to look at what you’ve done. It’s a hard thing to pat yourself on the back.”
“I remember dreaming about it, about being on TV. I remember seeing Children of a Lesser God on Broadway. I was sitting in the second or third row, and I was
just so blown away, and I walked out saying, ‘That’s what I want to do.’”
“I was told to avoid the business all together because of the rejection.
People would say to me, ‘Don’t you want to have a normal job and a normal
family?’ I guess that would be good advice for some people, but I wanted to
“We’re all with Friends until Friends dies. If one of us goes, we all go.
One of us wouldn’t leave. It wouldn’t be the show it is without each of us.”
“When you watch the show in reruns... it’s so funny to be flipping channels
and see an old episode and think, ‘God we were awful. Such babies’.”
“The boys are like our brothers. We love our boys.”
“It happened so fast. I went in, read the script, laughed out loud, got home and an hour later had the part.”
“(The show ending is) like a divorce nobody wants.”
“We really care for each other, making sure that everybody’s okay.”
“I’ll start crying (thinking about the end). That’s a tough one. If you go back to the beginning, I think everybody has a special place for Ross and Rachel.”
“We’ve all cried. We don’t know what it’s going to be like. Like we didn’t know what it was going to be like when we started, we have no idea (what it will be like at the end). We’re all gonna be blithering idiots.”
“It hits in moments and that’s when you get all teary and weepy.”
“It’s hard. It’s just 10 years of this incredibly group of people and it’s weird that it’s ending because it doesn’t seem like it really needs to but it does.”
“It is an absolute bonus to make friends out of colleagues, but we are genuinely friends and our relationships grow stronger every day. We rely on each other for strength because we’ve been through so much in our lives together already.” (anistoncenter.com)
- “Just finding somebody that was your best friend, who you could be with and enjoy the passage of time — and that’s what I found.”
“The best smell in the world is that man that you love.”
“I’m very old fashioned when it comes to love. I like men who act like gentlemen. The first time a boyfriend brought me breakfast in bed, I nearly cried.”
“Greek men are all about big moustaches, lots of ouzo and dancing with women who aren’t necessarily their wives. And also their moms tell them they’re perfect so they think they can do no wrong. And there’s nothing worse than a man who thinks he can do no wrong. Let’s get real.”
You’d have to be pretty bad for me to move out. No communication is a bad thing that guys are guilty of. I hate men who are selfish with their feelings – men who can’t talk about the way they feel. But I’m not demanding at all. Making me a cup of coffee is an awesome thing to do.”
“I don’t think guys are doing anything wrong (during sex), but I do think you’re too conscious of yourselves. Stop being aware of what you’re doing and how it’s appearing, and just feel it. You’re always worrying ‘Is she enjoying this?’ and ‘Is my thing big enough?’ But who cares? Sex is a messy enough business at the best of times. And I think it’s important to be able to laugh when you’re having sex – when it’s appropriate. It can be very damaging when you laugh at the wrong moment.” (anistoncenter.com)
“If you don’t take times to recharge, you’re gonna drive yourself into the ground and then your life goes by too fast and there’s nothing. I haven’t always lived by this motto, but I really don’t want to be one of those people who live to work. I want to work to live.” (anistoncenter.com)
“We only have one life, and we’re here for such a short period of time, you’d better have a blast with the person you’re with.”
“I guess we’d be living in a boring, perfect world if everybody wished everybody else well.”
“Really try to follow what it is that you want to do and what your heart is telling you to do.”